Thelypteris palustris

3-443.15.09Culture: song Fade to Grey; song A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall", by Bob Dylan; song Under control, by Calvin Harris & Alesso.EssenceThis personality lives in a family where she has to meet all aspirations and expectations of the family. She has to play along with parents, going out to meet people at parties, creating parties as her reality. She cannot express her desires, her parents call the tune as she goes along. Her desires still come through, but she can't disappoint her parents. Parents want her to marry, but she is lesbian and can't tell that to her parents. She sacrifices her own life by fulfilling the expectations of her family and community. She doubts if she can be her true self and follow her heart. When she tries to do something she wants herself, she doesn't succeed. Then she can complain that she is always having bad luck and misfortune on her road.
It is like a family were all the members are falling over each other; number one is the father, the boss, a boss without being questioned; the mother is standing beside the father, executing his commands; the children are standing at the edge.MindA small child, lying in a hospital or an orphanage, no-one is looking after him, there is no warmth or care.
Child in an oppressive atmosphere at home.
Child who does not know where the next meal is coming from.
Anxious child, afraid of his angry, screaming mother.
Abuse of children in the family.
Children exploring nature in a forest kindergarten, parents are earning money in a noisy town.
Very fine, childish, jumping.
Desire to break free from his mother's influence.
Living on top of each other, where no one else wants to live.
Squats of people and ruined houses, people using drugs and having no future.
Overloaded by work, school, home work, washing the dishes, shopping, caring for sisters.
Annoyed, feeling unlucky, from adverse circumstances, falling into a pit.
Ailments from being replaced by one's lover for a better one.
Life feels unfair.
Survival is hard.
Full of misfortune, attracting mishaps.
Desperate, out of proportion, from minor things like slipping and falling.
Desire to hold things together, things have to be under control.
Feeling: nothing feels right, nothing is natural; all is twisted, people, emotions, nature; this will not end well, neither for nature nor for people.
Problems are denied, one has to find out for oneself what the problem is.
Depressive emotions are dangerous.
Lack of individuality.
Dawdling, delaying, unable to go on, one has to be pushed.
Delicate, giving in, give way.
Lack of interests and enthusiasm.
Nothing, emptiness vegetating.
No connection to anybody, to myself.
Distant, polite.
Tight. A wrapped up Christmas tree, very tight.
Brusk, there is some love but it is buried.
There is some warmth and caring in the world.
Some beauty and colours, light is coming.BodyHead: headache, pulsating, as from a band around the head, sound is strange.
Lungs: yawning.
Chest: oppression.
Back: spina bifida.
Limbs: feet crippled, twisted inside; bruised pain in wrist.