Russula ochroleuca

Sense proving 26-10-2019, Haltern am See, JanProver 1Power, but trembling. An image of the judo man Wim Ruska., strong and big. It gives the impression of Phase 5.
Parkinson, trembling.
I want to stop the proving, I have lost the drive for it. The clouds drijven voorbij. But that is good the way it is. The idea is to go with full power or not, going forward or giving. IT feels like Stage 11.
Ochroleuca means ochre white. A point of light in the darkness. Conquer things form the darkness, conquering the dark sides below, the dark soil and ground.
Neuralgia in my left arm, a shooting pain in my elbow and wrist, a tingling in my fingers and fingertips.
When things are done half, it is time to stop.
A deep sea fish like a monster with a very big mouth.
The shadow side of a very talented person and that side starts taking all space.
Silver series with the neuralgia.
There is a conflict in going one own way and being social, wearing one own kind of clothing and cosmetics, in a quiet way as is good for oneself, without the intention to provoke.
Desire to hide one negative side, does not want that side to be seen, denies that side even. Sycotic. One needs to be wise and spiritual, needs to control everything, even when that is not the case.