Author: Jan Scholten
The situation is of a woman with a strong love, but it is not easy to be able to give it a place in the world. She can have trouble making deep connections because she had a mother who was cold, hard or absent, but there is a great need for deep connections. This can lead to several affairs, even extramarital affairs, which can lead to jealousy, fighting and divorce. Then the loneliness returns.
The stage is probably Stage 6. They have to fight in harsh circumstances to get what they need. They have to show their beauty and be attractive even when there is little to give.
They have a problem with their mother. She is not there or she is there, but does not give her love. Their mother is too occupied to give them time; she has to work, has to give too much attention to her husband or is an addict. There is love, but their mother cannot express it and does not hug them as a child. There is no protection from mother. They have a desire to feel their mother, touch her and feel her heart beat. They need her caresses.
This brings a deep inner sadness which is there in the background, a feeling as if they could cry all the time.
The lack of connection with their mother makes them feel unconnected to others. They can be totally alone. They want to withdraw from the world; they feel disconnected from everybody and no connection with anything. They feel very lonely, a kind of numbness and deep grief. In the end they want to be alone and do not want people to come close.
Life feels hard, stony, bumpy road stones, a desert, a storm, with obstacles.
Internally there is a strong desire for joy and fun. They want to explore the world, discover the beauty and wonders of the world. They can be very enthusiastic, boasting, laughing and even with tears. They can feel like a child jumping around. They are very emotional and passionate. They are essentially very soft, sweet and loving.
Love and betrayal.
They are attacked, violent, cruel, inhuman, nasty, uncivilised, criminal, hurt with knives, stabbed in the chest and in the abdomen.
There is no protection, feeling helpless, left alone. I am feeling powerless, empty, no words, no emotional connection. I become unfeeling. Attacked because they did something bad to a group of people, feeling punished. A kind of honour revenge. It has to do with love and betrayal.
Soft, velvet, satin, comfortable, gentle, careful.
Desire to lay down, relax, sleep, to be careless, not responsible, not concerned.
Dutiful, responsible, forceful, concentrated, concerned, devoted, dedication, serious, trance.
Ashamed, amazed about the cruelty of humankind.
Thinking we are doing good but we cannot do good. It is a big mistake.
Joy and grief.
Solution: find the real God, real love in yourself; see the hatred in yourself not only in others.
Sweat: copious, cold.
Energy: exhaustion, pulling me down, tired, sighing.
Head: headache, pressing, forehead.
Nose: running, dripping.
Lungs: sighing, hyperventilation, breathing is heavy, difficult; desire for deep breathing; holding breath.
Heart: blood is diluted.
Chest: oppression; as if between two iron plates, in a vice.
Back: feeling breath in neck; stitching pain left of thoracic vertebra 6 and 7.
Limbs: cramps in underarm, finger, calves, back > stretching.