Author: Jan Scholten
Uncertain Marriage Partner
Official Joy Satisfaction
Starting a relationship.
Uncertain whether to start a real relationship.
Fear they will not be able to handle the relationship.
Half hearted within the relationship.
Indecisive about clothes.
Feeling they have to initiate the fun.
Delaying out of fear of being jealous.
Essence: uncertain whether to start a real relationship.
Starting a relationship
Their basic feeling is that they should really make a start, make a commitment in the relationship. They are about to choose whether to get married or not, but they can’t make up their mind.
Uncertainty whether to really start the relationship
They can’t make up their mind because they are not sure what marriage will bring them and whether they will be able to handle it. Their uncertainty can paralyse all actions, so that they tend to give up before they have started. They no longer make an effort to get a partner. They might even neglect themselves, walking around unwashed and in shabby clothes. They do want a partner, because they feel life is very empty without one. But they don’t know what to do to get one and keep one and all this worrying and thinking about it drives them mad.
Fear they will not be able to handle a relationship
They feel totally unprepared for marriage, and they have no idea what lies in store for them. They think they are bound to make mistakes because they have never had a relationship before. Going out with a boy- or girlfriend had always been purely on a ‘no ties’ basis, but this time it might be the real thing. Will they know what to do? Will they get jealous? Will they have fights? There are no end of problems they manage to create in their mind. The fear gets particularly out of hand when it is their partner who is proposing marriage. Suddenly all their anxieties come flooding in at once and they decline rather than give it a chance.
Delaying out of fear of getting jealous
Their indecision is based on fear of failure. They can get into a panic if the other person puts them under pressure to make up their mind. They want to delay as long as they can, because they feel they are not ready. And if they decide and it turns out to be the wrong choice they will regret it later.
A half hearted relationship
And so they tend to be rather half hearted in their relationships. They may have a partner but live on their own, or any other variety of a LAT relationship (’Living Apart Together’). Or they might start a relationship with a married man.
Checking their feelings time and again
They like their relationship to be really happy, so they want to make sure they are doing the best they can. This makes them check their own behaviour all the time. ‘Have I been kind enough today?’ ‘Do I really love her enough?’ ‘Was there anything in my behaviour that wasn’t very nice?’ etc. It can all go a bit too far.
Checking their partner’s feelings time and again
Or they may direct their attention to their partner and check whether he or she really loves them enough. ‘Is there enough love in our marriage/’ ‘Do you really love me?’ They can get very jealous if they get the feeling that their partner is a bit half hearted about it all.
Feeling they have to initiate the fun
Another variation on this theme is the feeling that they are always the ones who have to start the fun. They are the ones who must bring happiness into the life of their partner, while the partner just waits for it to happen. But they hesitate to start because they are not sure whether their kindness is real. Perhaps they have some other ‘not so nice’ feelings inside too and they don’t want to do things by halves. They had better wait until they are sure their love is 100% real.
Indecisive about clothes
Another expression of the theme is in the area of clothes and beauty. They like to be well dressed and look beautiful. And they are fine as far as casual clothes are concerned. But as soon as they have to choose something very smart they start to doubt whether they have real taste. At official occasions they wonder whether they have chosen the right suit or the right dress. ‘Is this really suitable for the occasion?’ Rather than go through this doubt they prefer not to go to those official kinds of occasions anymore.
Fears: failure, criticism, opposition, observed, anticipation, exams, job interview, heights, poverty, ugliness, dirt.
Dreams: futile efforts, paralysis, marriage, nightmares < lying on back.
Mood: hurried, impatient, gloomy, indifferent.
Causes: loss of loved ones, friends or relations, insults, humiliation, shame.
Weather: sensitive to both cold and heat, < heat, > outside !!; hot flushes.
Perspiration: easy, < exertion, stinking.
Time: < 5 and 7 am
Desires: fruit !!, apples, pears, kiwi, grapes, oranges, sweet !!, alcohol, fat, fried, spices, sour, cold drinks.
Aversion: sour, milk, egg, bread.
Food: < oranges, alcohol.
Sleep: needs much; on right side, somnambulism; < lying in late.
Physical: < reading, bright lights; <- bathing.
Discharges creamy, yellow, smelling of rotten eggs.
Burning !! pains. Full, heavy, pulsating feelings.
Migraines with glittering and spots before eyes, vertical hemiopia !.
Headache starting from neck, with nausea, vertigo, fainting, dry mouth, numb and trembling hands, diarrhoea and irritability.
Vertigo, unsteady feeling in legs, falling forwards, fainting, < closing eyes.
Eye complaints: difficulty reading or studying, letters tremble, spots before eyes, shimmering, half sided blindness, < bright lights, < eye strain. Objects appear small and far away.
Colds. Dry mouth.
Heart and vascular diseases. varicose veins, heavy legs. Haemorrhages and haematomas. Anaemia !!.
Stomach problems. Diabetes.
Kidneys. Bright’s disease.
Skin problems, eczema, lupus, infections with yellow pus.
DD: Silicon series, Iron series, Stage 2, 4 and 16, Lithiums, Malus, Tellurium.