Author: Jan Scholten
The power has gone and they no longer keep up the facade either. Everybody knows it is all over. They lose everything they have built up, they feel a complete failure and they are very hurt. They feel desperate because they have to quit.
They feel everybody is letting them down: people they thought they could trust suddenly don’t support them any longer. It is as if they have to face everything alone, like somebody who is facing a terrible loss, who feels that the whole world is against him, that nobody is there to support him.
The business is handed over to someone else. The last bits and pieces are being collected to be used by the new owners. It is like a bankruptcy: the stocks are counted and everything is put up for auction. The business has collapsed, the debt collector is knocking on the door.
This sense of loss is expressed in their dreams and delusions. They have a great fear of death and they think about it a lot.
The situation is such that they have become superfluous. Their skills are no longer needed. Or they have such an abundance that others can’t digest it. This can result in overeating, or being overly concerned for others. Everything is exaggerated.
In this stage acceptance is the only possibility, even if this means loss. Their talent is being able to surrender to the circumstances.
Handing over Sacrificing
They have to hand over everything they have built up over the years. Their challenge is to do this whenever necessary. They are good at sacrificing, they will give a lot to others, sometimes a bit too much. They might give so much that they become a martyr.
The tactics of sacrificing are also characteristic of this stage, offering something small in order to receive something big.
Another theme is forgiveness. They have to learn to forgive the other person, even if they have lost everything to the other. If they succeed in doing this they have overcome a great challenge. Forgive and forget. If they can’t they will get bitter, harbouring a grudge against all those dreadful people who did such dreadful things to them.
Yet another theme is poison. They have the feeling that people are trying to get rid of them by stealthy means, for instance by trying to poison them. This makes them very suspicious: they are always on their guard, ‘you never know, a friend can soon turn into an enemy’.
Any moment something could happen. Any moment their project, or their life, may come to an end. You never know when it will happen, the end always comes suddenly. They feel as if they are powerless to prevent it, as if it will just happen to them.
In the first instance they’ll refuse to believe that things have really come to an end. They’ll do everything they can to obstruct the final dismantling. They refuse to cooperate and obstruct the lawyers’ instructions. They may do the most desperate things in their attempts to delay the end.
Fears: Alone, death, disease.
Dreams: Failure, disasters, accidents, annihilation, disfigurement, mutilation, poison, death and dying.
Stomach: pain, vomiting < poisoning.
DD: Stage 14 still keeps up the appearance that everything is fine. In stage 15 it really is all over.
DD decay: This stage shows the decay, the ruination and the loss most clearly. Characteristic words are; Collapse, falling, failing, breaking, losing, sinking, ending. Stage 12 through to 17 all have to do with decline and decay.