English: Xx.
We found the only
Cordia subcordata tree right behind our hotel, 20 meters away from our room entrance. Nobody in that Sri Lankan village knew its name in any language, nobody noticed the tree, it was not interesting to anyone. The hotel owner recalled having brought a sprout from Malaysia. It was the only tree in the hotel territory with roots carefully covered by tiles.
I took three days to identify the species as
Cordia subcordata, by all the botanical evidences, unambiguously.
Main themes/feelings/sensations.A wrinkled, rumpled ball-dress. Unsuitable, inappropriate in the environment. A star ball-dancer (she) in a crowd of low orders dressed in rugs.
Not in its place, in the wrong culture. The circumstances impose a primitive lifestyle whereas the internal hidden dignity suggests that she deserves much more, much better and richer life. Not appropriate for the primitive environment surrounding her. Who cares about your fancy dress style in the village where any rug better than a duster is a luxury, already.
There were unfortunate circumstances that led a princess to endure such miserable existence.
AssociationsRussian aristocracy that could not emigrate after the 1917 Revolution; and it has to live in the communist proletarian country, among dirt and hunger.
Rachmaninov, in America, composing heart-touching romances and preludes full of nostalgia.
An illegitimate child of a king family, thrown away to peasants, in order not to destroy the noble reputation of the family. The child feels her noble lineage but is incapable to escape the circumstances.
H.C. Andersen, “the Wild Swans” fairy tale; Elisa, a princess rescuing her brothers, had to be silent for many years, condemned as a witch while knitting shirts of stinging nettle stems.
It was nearly impossible to get the essence out of trituration. A mosaic, with brilliant evident bits, but failing to compose a full picture. Something does not fit. Something is incompatible, unsuitable.
Depth. Black hole. The depth of suffering and pain. Deeply hidden inside. Like a very heavy lid of a water-well. One has to use all the skills and fantasy to manage to open it. It only yields to very peculiar and appropriate efforts, finely tuned to her whims. Once you tackle the task of opening the well you see a frightening black depth of pain. You have a desire to look into it, but at the same time you are afraid to see the pain of it.
A determined and well-considered effort does not bring any result. A coincidence of events and a spontaneous action may lead to success, in getting the true feeling of her deeply hidden essence.
She is taciturn, there is no point discussing her feelings with anyone. They will not understand. She can only open up and flourish in an unachievable wonderful dream world, in a worthy deserving group. She is waiting and looking for the appropriate environment to disclose herself. She can only show her brilliance in a group of the likes, of the similars. And it happens that she shows it to the inappropriate public that are a suitable team only in her fantasy. May happen spontaneously.
She deserves much more than the conditions allow. She is stuck in the inescapable dull and gloomy situation. Nobody really insists on you doing what you don’t want to do, it is just the unfortunate coincidence of events that led to the situation. So she puts up with it abiding to the conditions.
For the whole duration of the proving there is a weeping, teary mood. But the tears are suppressed, giving a painful “closed” sensation in the bridge of the nose. She can only weep in solitude.
Desire for solitude, desire to leave, to drop further trituration; but it is unavoidable, you must continue.
Solution: to pretend that you are like others. You knit clothes, do routine stuff, you do not adapt but you submit to the circumstances, pretending to be like others and behaving like others, doing dull duties habitual for the community. Assimilate with the environment, mix with the crowd of non-similars. When there is a chance to be alone, cry bitter tears to release the pain of being not understood.
Physical
Right side! pain, from right occiput extending down, right neck, right shoulder, right arm and hand, as if frozen, as if numb and heavy, as if not yours.
Headache, dull, heavy, from right to left temple, through the forehead under the hair growth line, eventually closing into a circle, as a semiball, numb and heavy, on top of the head.
Chilly, freezing, even in tropics.
Right eye and right half of the face is distinctly different from the left half.
Right eyelids heavy, close involuntarily; it’s OK to see things with just the left eye.
Sharp pain in the bottom of the abdomen, lasting for several hours, better warmth, worse movement, worse raising, getting up.
Nose: stuck, at the nose bridge high and deep, want to cause coryza but unable to.
Dreams- car damaged by someone, strangers, in unexplainable happenings, I have to go by public transport.
- they damaged my blouse, and it cannot be repaired, its beautiful pletas are destroyed by someone whom I don’t know.
- my car in a strange city, surrounded by youngsters, excessively polite for a tip or a benefit, I have to leave my car and go by public transport because I don’t know this foreign town.
- have to find a solution in situations that puzzle me.
MethodTrituration and meditation, by 2 patricipants in Sri Lanka, three days, in 1-hr episodes daily.
Trituration and meditation, confirming, in Moscow, 4 participants, 3 hours, from raw MT of a leaf and a flower.
Potentising, to 30CH, from 3CH trituration.
Potentising, to 200K, from 21-days alcohol tincture of a leaf and a flower.
Dreams, after trituration, substances under pillow.