Case: Female age 20
I am coping with memories from my childhood.
I have OCD.
I am obsessive about food and numbers.
I like to eat things in numbers, especially pairs.
I have to stay away from the number 6 and 13.
I count everything.
I will have to eat how many ever to make it safe.
I have to count my steps to make sure I do not stop on 6 or 13.
I have been in counselling for a long time, but the OCD is bad right now.
I am dwelling on the past.
I have anxiety about being around people.
I worry about touching people in the wrong way.
There was a lot of sexual experimentation as a child.
I discovered masturbation at an early age.
I have unnatural sexual thoughts about kids and it feels shameful.
I have to tell myself, you are not a pervert.
It is an OCD thing for me.
This has been going on for a while. Since I was a kid
I will have anxiety about things. I distort my thoughts.
My anxiety comes on when there is a lot of noise.
I exaggerate things and take them to an unhealthy place.
I cannot let things go, I worry that I may have done something bad or hurt someone.
I worry I have done something bad even though I know I have not.
I can not convince myself that thinking and doing are two different things.
I think that all that sexual stuff as a kid makes me attracted to kids because of the memories.
It all makes me feel very guilty.
I am always thinking, I should not have done this, and I should not have done that.?
I am anxious now because of all these thoughts that will not leave my head.
My mom makes me very anxious.
My dad lets me talk to him, but Mom is very stressful.
She wants me to be perfect at a lot of things.
She has anger problems. She always has.
I will say something silly and she will go on and on and say, “when you say things like this no one likes you.” My dad will not say anything, b ut he is supportive. I tell him everything.
Being around my mother makes me so anxious and angry.
I do not want to be angry with her and it makes me feel guilty, but I am angry sometimes.
Being around little kids makes me anxious.I do not want to touch them in the wrong way.
I do not want that to happen. I know intellectually it would never happen, but those memories just plague me, and I blow it all up into anxiety and I need to stay away from them.
When I was a kid there was a ton of drama at school.
There was a lot of boyfriend girlfriend stuff. Someone called me a bitch slut whore.
They did not want to tell me things and it made me feel left out.
A lot of secrets in the school, but I tried to rise above that crap.
I liked my designer clothes. I know I was arrogant and I thought I was better than them, but that is how I dealt with being left out.
I am in college now and things are ok.
I went through a period when we were partying, and I said no more!
I am just hanging out with my friends and watching movies.
Navigating the social stuff is difficult.I am nervous around sex, drugs, rock and roll.
I am still a virgin, but I have been making out, but not really anything more than that.
Then I was thinking did I do something wrong?
There was one boy. We were friends and then we dated and made out a little, but then he broke up with me. I felt comfortable with him and then I got hurt.
I felt like I had done something wrong.
There is a lot of shame when my boyfriend broke up with me.
The girls at school are mean.
They say mean things and then I feel like an outsider and I do not want to feel like an outsider.
Physically I struggle with a lot of digestive stuff.
I have had it on and off since middle school.
Lots of cramping, diarrhea and then I will get constipated.
Difficult periods too with lots of blood and lots of cramping. I will have constipation for weeks and then with my period I will have diarrhea.
Plan:
Streptopus amplexifolius 633.64.05
Analysis: The first order that came to mind in this case was the
Liliales. The Silica series is strong because her problem lies with her relationship to her mother and children. Her sexual curiosity as a child created a trauma for her which made her question “Am I pure or am I not”, a classic phase 6 dilemma. It is also interesting that she had to stay away from the number “6”! She could talk to her father and tell him everything, phase 4. Being overwhelmed by her problem and feeling like it was too big to manage fit nicely with stage 5.
Six-week follow up
I am not even at the remedy’s full potential and I am feeling so much better.
I am learning that all of these thoughts are just my OCD, this is who I am, but it doesn’t have to be like this. It can change, I can heal.
I realize it was the trauma as a kid, I just didn’t realize it was a trauma.
I am still seeing my counselor and she is saying the same things she has always said, but now I can hear it, understand it.
I go through situations and I do not even think about it.
I have been able to eat and walk without counting.
Follow up 7 months after initial dosing:I went back to school and I was laughing and giggling, and I felt like myself.
Not worried about things and letting things go.
It is so nice.
I feel like I have control again.
Things are better with my mom.She has really just become a person that I have fun with.
It is not as tense, and she is letting me handle things my own way.
The counselling is going really well finally.I use to hate it but she makes me face my fear.
I agree now with the fact my childhood was a trauma for me and that is where all these thoughts came from, all this OCD.
I start to think of children in that way and I just joke to myself, yeah, right, I am a child molester and it gives it no power.
My sleeping pattern is much better.I sleep 11 to 7.
Follow up 20 months after initial dosing:There is no obsession or compulsion.
I feel a million times better.
The anxiety is SO calmed down.
Everything is so much better.
College is stressful because it is a transition.
There is nothing concrete, but my OCD is great.
I do not get caught up in things.
The remedy and counselling have helped me be able to move past the thoughts that come up.
I like to see my friends from home now!
Nothing like that would have happened before.
I do not hold on to things any more.
Life is too fleeting and too short to hold on to inconsequential things.
I use to come home and say I hate it here and I hate these kids.
Now I am calling and saying hey I am home for a few weeks let’s do something!!