Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Qjure
Type:
Picture
Chapter:
1-250.00.06
Molybdenum
Essence: creativity is a challenge.
Creativity is a challenge
They really want to start to express their creativity. They have gone past the stage of doubt, but it is the first time they are going to show what they can do and it is quite a challenge to create something all by themselves. They are being initiated in their own creativity.
Having to face the challenge by themselves
At this stage they are not open to advice from others. It is as if they are turning inwards to gather their strength for the performance. Thus they can appear very stubborn and dominant, sometimes even quite hard.
They also don’t want to burden other people with what they consider to be their own personal challenge, they feel it is all up to themselves anyway.
Proving that they can show their ideas
They get quite worked up before they start. They have to convince themselves that it is easy, that they are very good at it and that thousands of others have done it before them. They have to convince themselves because deep inside they aren’t so sure, after all it has never been proved that they have a special creative or scientific talent.
Feeling forced to be creative
Because they are on the verge of doing the impossible there is a certain element of force in the whole situation. They are afraid, afraid that it will go wrong and they will look a failure. But they also know that they have to go ahead with it, they have reached the ‘point of no return’. So they put themselves under pressure in order to take the step. Or they allow others to put them under pressure, for instance by accepting commissions. This way they are forced to get on with it. They feel as if they are being thrown to the lions when they are suddenly asked to hold a speech, but they’ll do it anyway.
But on the whole they prefer to work by themselves, without interference. Life only has meaning to them when they can be creative so there is enough pressure coming from themselves without the need for added interference. That is why they hate authority, they need to be able to follow their own path.
This theme is beautifully expressed in a proving done by Tuminello (1995): ‘a woman [queen] has to perform some acrobatic tricks [art]. A man [king, Gold series] throws her up into the air and she groans ‘Oh, I hope I won’t have to do this again [forced, Stage 6]’. She lands on the outstretched palm of his hand, he is full of pride [Silver series], he dominates her [force, Stage 6] and she feels humiliated [Silver series] and only complies because he is forcing her’.
Having to prove yourself to be admired
These people can appear to be very proud. They exude an ‘air’ of mastery, even though they haven’t proved anything yet. It makes you feel you had better not come near them. The theme of success also comes back in their dreams. They dream that their performance is such an overwhelming success that they win all sorts of prizes.
But they can be very afraid of failure, that is why they prefer not to show what they are making. They would rather try it out quietly first. But if you challenge them they’ll want to show what they are worth, they are easily stirred into action.
Secret creations
They are so unsure of their creativity that they prefer to work quietly on their own. They don’t like public discussions and can’t bear being watched while they work. They like their work of art to be self explanatory and they dislike to comment on it. They don’t like their story to be recorded on video. They also prefer to keep their ambitions quiet, until they have made a name for themselves. Being famous has the added disadvantage that you can’t hide any longer. Everybody will keep an eye out for any new productions.
Afraid of the challenge of the town: homesick
They often feel that they are far away from home. They don’t really feel at ease in their new place yet and suffer from a sort of homesickness. This sense of loneliness is partly due to the fact that they don’t easily come out of hiding. They dream about looking for a house or being lost or always being on holiday and unable to find their home.
Forced to do something but afraid to fail: careful
Because they don’t quite know how to go about being creative they tend to be very careful in their approach. They are not sure whether they will succeed in creating something worth while. So they go about their work with great precision, planning it very carefully and displaying a lot of tact. But they also realise that they are obstructing themselves with this overly careful approach.
Failure due to to force: humiliation
They have a fear of failure and failure feels like humiliation. But because they are only beginners their attitude tends to be a bit forced and things are more likely to go wrong. They are afraid of forgetting their lines during a performance. And when everything goes right they wonder whether they really did do well.
When they get criticised they feel obstructed. They are afraid that the public won’t appreciate their work, or find it too superficial and naive. But compliments don’t help either, because they know that nobody but themselves can be the judge of their creativity.
A tight voice
Their style tends to be a bit cramped and public speaking is difficult for them. Their voice gets very shaky and they have to clear their throat a hundred times. They want to say too much all at once and nobody understands what they are trying to get across.
Expressions
Fears: heights, narrow spaces, shows, performances, speeches, failure, weakness, humiliation, rape, falling, chair lifts, fainting, heart attack, cancer of the oesophagus, future, something will happen, death, water, buried alive, open spaces, going away from home, public transport.
Dreams: heights, falling, stairs that run into each other, being trapped between trams.
Irritability: < hurt, < being obstructed, < being trapped.
Mood: haughty, restless, hurried, discontented, indifferent, discouraged. gloomy, crying.
Mental: confused.
Contacts: <-, > alone, <- talking.
Religion: has to be perfect, <- confessions.
Sexual: <-, impotent.
Professions: artist, painter, writer, singer, musician, teacher, scientist, doctor, priest, bishop, shaman, vicar, governor, secretary, representative, advertising agent, public relations officer, top sports man, -woman, homoeopath, doctor, astrologer, teacher, actor, circus artist.
Causes: disasters, hurt, humiliation.
Generals
Type: overweight, emaciation.
Locality: left.
Weather: cold, cold feet, < cold !!; hot flushes, slowly rising from stomach: > dry, < damp !!; > outside.
Desires: fat, avocado, sweet, chocolate, milk, cold drinks.
Aversion: sour, citrus fruit, milk, cheese; eating.
Food: < fat, sulphite, sour, milk, buttermilk, alcohol, peanuts; < aldehyde, xanthine, < nitrite, copper, iron, > cold water, < spicy, salt.
Menses: profuse.
Sleep: sleepy, > yawning.
Physical: < smells; <- touch.
Complaints
Cancer.
Weakness. Bruised pains, itching.
Vertigo, sensation of floating, < sudden movements, unsteady walk.
Multiple sclerosis.
Headache in forehead, above right eyes, in temples, congestive, as from a dagger or hammer; with nausea.
Eye problems, disturbance in vision, inflammations. Pain congestive, right side, red, difficulty reading, letter disappear, trembling, spots before eyes < migraine.
Ear problems, sudden stoppage, followed by pressure in head, tinnitus, hissing; deafness.
Caries of teeth. Aphthae on tongue, < eating, salt !!, > cool drinks.
Colds, with watery coryza. Profuse yellow, stinking mucus. Loss of smell.
Salivation, stinking.
Voice problems: hoarseness, stammering !!, tension in jaws, hence difficulty speaking. Cancer of oesophagus !. Scraping.
Aphthae on edge of tongue, pain in tongue, < menses.
Sore throat with feeling of lump.
Lung problems. Bronchitis, rattling because of tough mucus, difficult to dislodge. Wheezing < inspiration, exertion, < night.
Pain in heart shooting to left side of throat. Palpitations. Anaemia. High blood pressure.
Cramp in heart region << pressure, tightness in chest < tension, < stooping, < eating, < anticipation, doctor, = nitrobate, while eating radiating to shoulder and arms. Heart stops suddenly, misses a beat, > movement, < sitting down in the evening.
Stomach complaints, nausea with fainting. Pain in stomach > crossing arms in front of stomach, feeling of hole in the stomach, < husbands hand on stomach.
Liver and kidney affections, nervous disorders (Dreisbach).
Abdominal colic. Constipation with dry, hard stools.
Burning pains during urination; urine dark yellow.
Problems of genitalia, testes and ovaries. Impotency. Enlarged prostate, pain on pressure, pain in groin radiating to thigh. Nycturia. Inflammation of testes. Foreskin red, with fissures.
Neck pains, tension, stiffness. Problems with arms. trembling hands.
Pain in limbs, coming in waves, lasting from 5 to 10 seconds, a wringing feeling, radiating to distal side, must move, restless feet.
Creaking of neck on turning head.
Tingling in thumb and index finger, later on moving to lower arm and shoulder, horrible pain, electric pains < looking up, < shoulders hanging down, < leaning on a table, < sitting in a low chair with elbows on knees.
Pain in knees < kneeling.
Eczema, dry, scaling. like psoriasis; prolonged itching, spread out. Vitiligo.
DD: Silver series, Stage 6, Carcinosin, Leguminosae, soja beans, Fagopyrum.