Impatiens balsamina

A woman of almost 60 years of age, she suffers from anxiety and tension; she sits crying and sniffling during the consultation. Later, it turns out that she has been seeing many homeopaths for years, and sometimes things got a little better for a while—medication: olanzapine, fluoxetine, and lorazepam. The ‘misery’ started six months ago; she was worn out, with work and all kinds of other pressures. It can be fear of becoming anxious. She spent a lot of time on the phone with her previous homeopath. She has been seeing a psychiatrist for 20 years, but he makes her feel that she is not well; she is blocked by fear. She has felt well for a few weeks, but she cannot manage with regular medication. It makes her very anxious; she feels it as soon as she gets up. She feels empty, as if she is being sucked down. When she walks with a friend or with the dog, she feels fine. When she thinks about it or is home alone, she feels pulled down again. When she has distractions, she feels better. She hates being like this around others; she doesn't want to be pitied. Her work: she has her own shop at home, and the children have left home. Her husband is currently unemployed. She just doesn't understand the feeling. It's exciting every time, she doesn't know what it will be like that day. She sleeps well, but the day is meaningless, ‘the emptiness’. When she thinks about the children, she has to cry. She always finds new things scary and exciting. She mustn't think about it too much; she prefers to do things with someone else. Before, she could do things and be happy, and afterwards, she was tired and sat on the couch crying. That caused new anxiety: how would the children react to a crying mother? Her greatest fear is not being able to get rid of it. Afraid of what will others say, afraid that they can see it, she thinks that everyone else is having a good time. Soon they will see it.
As a child, she already dreaded new things; she is one of twins. She wanted to belong to a group. She was bullied at school; her sister also had the same. At home, it was empty. Her mother did what she had to do, but she felt no love; she couldn't turn to her mother, nor to her father, who was of the ‘don't whine’ variety. You couldn't say ‘I'm scared’ or ‘I'm dreading it’. You did that in silence. Her father was just angry and lived in his own little world. He never asked, ‘How are you?’. Her father was negative about everything, about the world. When he went to work, she felt like he was being trampled on. He never talked about himself. Before she broke down, her sister said she didn't like being her sister at all. As a child, she acted like a clown. Everything was always exciting and scary. At 18, she met her husband. It was nice at his home, and she quickly moved out. She did a course that her mother chose for her. She always felt insecure, as if she wasn't quite complete. She did everything through sheer willpower, which keeps you busy, but you get tired. She sought security and went to work where her sister worked, but without her support, she had to give up because of the stress. Being busy helps. Having children also caused anxiety; the unknown. She wasn't strong enough for the work, was put on furlough, and then felled into a hole, the void. After that, she went from one therapist to another. She is naturally cheerful. A good cry is cathartic. Belonging is very important, as long as it's something fun. And that you feel complete. It's awful to be dependent. Constantly thinking: if only he could help me, the dependence on you. She wants people around her to connect with, for her it is important that contact is ‘unconditional’, that they don't let you down, that they don't think you're stupid, she wants to be equal in her contacts, not dependent. When she wakes up, she feels the restlessness and anxiety: here we go again. She is down, dull, calls often, just wants to lie down, clings to everyone, feels like a little scared girl, and she is ashamed of it. Outside, things are better; talking about it helps. I want to belong, I want to be normal again. Laugh and enjoy myself. It's as if I'm in someone else body; I have no say in the matter. When my husband isn't there, I lie under a blanket. That panic, that's not me. She got Glechoma hederacea, Lanthanum-carbonicum, Ecballum elaterium, Krameria lappacea and Triticum-vulgare without amelioration. After Jasminum officinalis, she became relaxed, calm, and peaceful; she felt it as soon as she took it. The psychiatrist then said to taper off, and after that, it all became worse. Repeating the remedy does nothing.AnalysisSeries 6: Control as a theme, being on your own, having your own shop, wanting to stand on your own two feet (Lanthanides).
Series 4: Desire to be ‘normal’, working, normal life, wanting to belong to the group.
Phase 1: I'm not participating, fear, all or nothing. Parents: mother wasn't there (in her opinion). Longing for unity. Her relationship with her twin-sister: compare Phosphoricum acidum, Stage 1.
Phase 5: Restlessness, wanting a lot, father: don't whine, push, restlessness, I want a lot, want to do fun things.
Stage 6: The clown, hiding, sensitive for judging, it's exciting but do it anyway.
Stage 1: Unity, unstable.
Prescription: Balsamina impatiens MK.Follow-upShortly after taking it, she became relaxed, she felt comfortable again, her husband noticed it too. She continued to reduce her lorazepam; after four weeks, it was halved. The shop is going well for her now; she can laugh again, she listens to music again, and she can cope with busy situations again. She is no longer so preoccupied with getting through the day, no longer dreading everything; she just lets it happen. Some people still make her nervous if she has had words with them, but it didn't linger and subsided within a few days. She feels more solid, she feels strong. When she feels restless, she needs to talk to someone; she wants to call someone. Waking up is better; she feels stable as soon as she gets up. When she is home alone now, she just does the things she has to do. The restlessness of the past: she always wanted to hide it, to “put on a brave face.” Hiding from people, that's the point. She likes seeing people, but she doesn't dare go out with friends because she's afraid she'll want to go home. At home, she was always the one helping out. I was the only one of the children who went through puberty. As a child, when things weren't going so well, my mother would say, ‘I don't know what to do with you.’ She wasn't used to me needing attention or care. When I helped out, my mother was happy, and I got compliments. My father didn't interfere with the children. When we were busy, we were told ‘not in front of daddy’. She continues to recover after this.