Author: Jan Scholten
Essence: letting go of relationships: splitting up.
Letting go of relationship
Their relationship with others isn’t very good. The relationship has always been there, but they know that it has come to an end and they have to let go. It is inevitable that all things come to an end sooner or later, but they have a tendency to want to postpone the moment. They feel the right time hasn’t come yet and they are not ready to sever the bond.
Holding on to relationship: mother-child
A typical situation is that of a mother and child. It is a relationship that has to end one day, when the child has grown up and should go his own way. But up until that time the relationship is inevitable and very strong. The child has to hold on to his mother in order to survive, sometimes in the most literal sense of the word. The mother is also ‘condemned’ to this relationship; she can’t escape from the situation without endangering the life of her child.
Letting go of everything for the sake of someone else: mother
A mother is also inclined to let go of everything for the sake of her child, especially when her child is in danger. She is constantly tuned in to the needs of her child: when the child cries at night she is there before anyone else has even noticed.
Relationships with needy people: care, nurturing
They tend to look for people in need. This way they make sure that the other person will not easily let go, because their need will make them want to hang on to the relationship. Care and nurturing is an important theme here. They like helping other people and create a bond based on the care they provide.
Another possibility is that they need a lot of care and attention themselves and use this fact to create a bond. This is a natural sort of situation when a child is very small and he needs his mother all the time, but it may continue if the child acts helpless and dependent for many years.
Holding on to communication: attention
Attention is another central theme. They need and demand a lot of attention. Attention is something to bask in, like a cat who sits on exactly that piece of newspaper that you are trying to read.
Or they may give a lot of attention, again to keep the communication going.
Demanding communication: self-pity
They can be very demanding in their relationships, like a baby who cries insistently when he is hungry. They are afraid of losing the other person and try to avoid this by continuously holding their attention.
When the relationship does get broken they feel extremely sad and bitter. But they don’t talk about it, although their bitterness is more than obvious from their behaviour. Their air of self-pity is designed to attract the other person’s attention and persuade him or her to put an arm around their shoulder and make it up again.
The end of a relationship: sadness
They may find themselves in a situation where they have lost a child, a relative or a friend. They are very afraid of such a thing happening, very afraid of disease and death and being left behind. They feel emotionally abandoned and daren’t go on in life on their own.
Or they daren’t leave home when they have grown up, so they remain with their family indefinitely.
Letting go of relations and family: alone
They feel they have nobody left in the world and are condemned to spend the rest of their days in loneliness and bitterness. They can spend endless hours brooding about how it used to be and how it would have been if the other person was still there. They cannot let go of their love, nor of their hate. They become introverted and keep staring at their own navel, so to speak. Others are not important anymore, and they avoid contact with the rest of their friends and family. A baby in an incubator is an example of a human being who has been emotionally abandoned.
Letting go of relations: anti-social
In extreme situations they might stop seeing other people even when there is no valid reason. Their behaviour becomes anti-social and they don’t take other people’s feelings into consideration.
An example of such a situation is that of a foundling, where a mother has put the baby in a basket and left it on a doorstep somewhere. The antisocial conditions of the society she lives in may have forced the mother to go to this extreme, such as if she would lose her job and her income if she has a child, or if she is an unmarried mother and the customs of the country make it impossible for her to keep the child.
Fears: alone, water, danger.
Dreams: water, sea, waves, drowning, children, mother, disease, death of friends or family.
Mood: sensitive, emotional, demanding, complaining.
Weather: slightly warm, <> sea.
Time: < 11 pm.
Desires: salt, fish, starch.
Menses: < before, during or after menses, < after pregnancy; swollen and painful breasts before menses.
Sleep: difficulty falling asleep.
Dry mucus membranes. Oedema.
Colds with watery discharge.
Constipation, hard, dry stools.
Skin eruptions, on face, chest, arms, red spots, << sun.
Ulcers, vesicles on lips; herpes.
DD Silicon series, Stage 17.
DD Sulphur: here the emphasis is more on the expectations within the relationship. They expect to get love and attention, but may find it lacking. The Muriaticums have a more demanding nature, they simply take.
DD Oxygens: see Oxygen.