Author: Jan Scholten
Resentment, grudge Self pity
Anger, hate, criticism Care and nurturing
Closed, held in Mother
Disappointment, gloom Self-awareness
The theme according to the group analysis is resentment towards the mother. The have become disappointed and bitter towards their mother. They feel that their mother has abandoned them to their fate. This feel that they have missed something and this makes them sad. But it also makes them angry and bitter.
We can also have the opposite situation, where they had the ideal mother, the mother who was always there with kindness and love. Or, at least, this is how they experienced it. At a certain moment they realise that the situation was not quite so ideal as it first seemed and this creates a feeling of disappointment and resentment.
A variation on this theme might be that they have feelings of resentment, because they aren’t being protected and nurtured any more. This looks very like the previous situation, but is not quite the same, because it is not directly linked to the mother. The resentment is more towards the cold hard world as a whole. They feel unloved and unprotected.
Yet another variation might be the case where they have a mother who is very resentful herself. If the mother feels that she has lost out in the world, she might become bitter and cynical herself, losing or suppressing her soft touch in the process. Through this attitude of the mother the same kind of hardness may be passed on to her children, which completes the circle.
A final variation could be that the mother has a grudge towards her children. For instance, they might be very difficult, awkward children who upset her pleasant, peaceful life. Or they may feel that the children ask so much of her time and energy that it becomes impossible to enjoy their own life. Their ambitions and hopes are all disturbed by having the children.
The way that all these feelings, as described above, are expressed is primarily in the form of anger. They are angry, irritable, critical and cynical. They can also be sad, gloomy, withdrawn, bitter and envious.
Thirdly, they might be closed and reserved, with an aversion to company, conversation and consolation. They feel that they are a prey to the hard world and that they have to be very hard themselves as a protective measure.
These various expressions of the basic theme are well represented in the repertory:
The unprotected feeling is shown in the rubric 'delusion enemy is under the bed', 'delusion sword is hanging over her head', 'dreams, bitten, being by horse' and 'delusion that he would be murdered'. The anger can be found in the rubrics 'abusive', 'envy', 'hatred', 'revenge' and 'malicious'. The reservedness we find in 'aversion to answer', 'aversion to certain persons' and 'misanthropy'. The sadness is mentioned in 'ailments from grief'.
Resentment towards the mother because they miss a feeling of security.
They have a grudge against their mother, because they feel that she has treated them badly and unfairly. They have lost their sense of security, their sense of being cared for. Their picture of the world, which was so ideal and gentle, has been distorted.
The original situation can be one where the mother is hard and cynical. Or one where their mother demands a lot of them before she will give them her love. She herself may be disillusioned and disappointed. Or it may be a case where the mother tries to fulfil her own frustrated ambitions through her children. This makes her so hard that her caring and gentle nature is pushed aside completely.
The Am-m state can also be created when the mother is not necessarily hard and uncaring, but when someone simply has an exaggerated and ideal picture in his mind of how a mother should be. The real mother will just not be able to live up to this ideal.
This can be the start of an Am-m state, with anger and resentment, where they know everything better and are very surly and difficult in general. Most typical is their critical attitude, not even the smallest matter escaping their criticism.
They are gloomy and sad because of their lost happiness, 'paradise lost'. They are disappointed and bitter, envious of those who are still happy. They may look indifferent and apathetic, but this is usually only on the outside. Deep inside they feel an enormous resentment.
They are also closed and reserved. They look like Natrium muriaticum in this respect and they both have a lot of sadness. But Nat-m does not have so much hate and criticism. They are more inclined to withdraw because they don’t like people. They have an aversion to company, conversation and consolation. Because of their difficulty in making contact with other people, they may stay single.
Am-m. feels unprotected and vulnerable in a hard world. They feel that there is very little gentleness and love left in this world. If they do happen to come across some expression of this love they are very quick to kill it with their criticism. Not many people can stand this cynicism for very long and people soon give up trying to be kind to them. This keeps the vicious circle going. The Ammonium muriaticums become hard and they feel that they have to be in order to protect themselves against the hardness of other people.
They can’t stand injustice, especially not towards children. But on the other hand they don’t like whining children either: this also touches their core theme.
Dreams: about a big building where they get lost and from where they can’t escape.
Or about a huge wave which threatens to drown them.
Colour preference: 4-5DE, 4-5C.
Physique: tall and thin.
Temperature: cold, < cold, < outside.
Time: < 3 am.
Desire: coffee!!, chocolate !!, sweet, sour, tobacco.
Aversion: meat. > eating. < potatoes, alcohol. < fasting.
Menses: painful and swollen breasts before menses.
Physical: < bathing. > lying down, < stretching.
The pains are burning and biting.
The discharges are acrid, watery and yellow, smelling of ammonia.
Sinusitis maxillaris left !!. Colds.
Lung complaints, emphysema. Sneezing during sleep. Stomach complaints.
Sciatica!!. Inflammations of the joints with contractures.
The skin and mucous membranes can become very red, burning and swollen.
Skin: 'cafe au lait' patches.
DD: Ammoniums, Carc, Caust, Muriaticums, Nit-ac, Nitricums.