Acidum phosphoricum

Phosphoricum acidum Case(by Willem Woutman)A woman, aged 32, comes with feelings of depression. The gloomy moods come in waves. She can’t enjoy anything in life and has to tell herself that things can be fun. She becomes apathetic and just stays at home. Her memory is also impaired. Sometimes she does not remember what she is doing half way during a job. She is very easily hurt, very sensitive and sad. She usually stays silent, so that other people will not say anything to her either. That might only hurt her even more. Thoughts keep on going around and around in her head. She thinks of suicide but doesn’t dare to. She sighs a lot.
These complaints started about 4 years ago. This is when a close girlfriend became ill. One and a half years ago her friend died of cancer. She feels very guilty that she could not really be there for her friend. She feels that a part of her has also died, that a 'twin sister' has gone. She has received psychotherapy treatment for the depression, and after one year she could finally cry about her loss.
Mind: She is very sensitive and cries when she is alone. She likes to be alone and she also feels very alone. At the same time she is very strong. She feels that she doesn’t know who she is.
Childhood: As a child she was already the odd one out, the ugly duckling. She was teased a lot at school. She was extremely shy and not brave at all. She felt very lonely.
She has two sisters. Her brother died in an accident when she was 6 and nobody at home ever talked about it or showed their grief. She did receive a lot of love at home, but nobody talked about their feelings.
General characteristics:
The menses are very irregular.AnalysisThe depression and apathy make us think of Ph-ac. The original cause of the sadness also fits with the theme of ph-ac according to the group analysis. The sadness is about the loss of a very good friend, a friend who was almost a twin sister to her. We find the same theme earlier in her childhood, when she couldn’t 'talk' about the death of her brother. She did not have any 'contacts' at school either.ReactionAfter Ph-ac 1 M she was very depressed for three days. It was like a really deep black hole. She even asked a friend to keep an eye on her, because she was afraid that she might commit suicide. After that she improved very quickly. One month later she already feels much less vulnerable and depressed.