Author: Jan Scholten
They have lost everything, it has all been taken away from them. There is nothing left of the old days of glory. Everything is gone, lost, spilt, used up, ruined, all that is left are some crumpled and yellowed relics from a distant past.
Rags and tatters.
The situation is one of decomposition. The harmony has gone. The beauty of the golden age is lost and all that is left are some tattered remains. The building is in ruins, there are holes in the walls, the curtains are torn to shreds and the colours have faded. These people may have a strong dislike of ugliness, of anything that is past its best, ofthings that are rotting and smelling of decay.
They still live in hope that the old situation might come back. They expect that other people will notice their needs. They are quite open in their shortcomings and areas of need, expecting that others will be touched and feel moved to provide for them. They count on the sympathy and compassion of others to feel sorry for the underdog. They don’t openly ask for help or take what they need, relying instead on charity and compassion. They will only ask directly if it becomes obvious that other people don’t realise their need. Then they may even start to beg quite openly.
They only occasionally deem it necessary to have direct contact with other people, but they can be very indignant when others don’t realise their needs.
They try to lure people into helping them, to give them those things which they were accustomed to, and whether this is based on reality or on pure fantasy is immaterial. They often have the feeling they that they don’t have any rights, that they are merely being tolerated.
They are a bit like an over ripe plum. It still looks delicious and you are tempted to have a bite, but as soon as you do you realise that it is rotten inside.
Now that the case is more or less lost, they try to dive into the whole thing on a deeper level. They are unable to exert any direct influence, so they escape into a philosophical review of everything that has been happening. Or they may try to look at what is left at a deeper level.
All that is left are memories. But at least you can play with those images and thoughts. So they make up endless stories about the things they used to do. They tend to live in the past, they long to relive those days of glory. But it would be better to forgive and forget.
Fantasy Make belief
Memories are wonderful things because they are so flexible. Anything that wasn’t really all that nice can be reshaped into something much better. Theorising and fantasising are very characteristic at this stage.
Anything that has disappeared in real life can be brought to life again in the telling of the story. So they talk a lot about the past, about all the things they lost because of other people’s faults.
These stories often become castles in the air, you can’t separate truth from fantasy anymore. It is their way of boosting their self-worth a little bit, because there is precious little left of it in real life.
In order to move on in their growth process they will have to learn the art of reconciliation.
Then they will be able to handle any situation and be at peace with the way things are.
Living on past resources
They live on the relics of the past. They are good at looking back and reliving all the things they have done. They like parties because it makes them forget how things are now. They look for diversions through love, music, dance and alcohol. Having a good time is all that matters now.
Because everything is lost anyway they don’t have to bother about making an effort. It is all over and there is nothing to do now. They can become indifferent and lazy. Why should they bother? It is no use putting energy into a lost cause. They are bored and looking for distractions.
DD Stage 15: is in the process of losing everything. In Stage 16 everything has been lost already and there is nothing left but memories.
DD Stage 12: is also in decline, but it is more the first sign of what is to come, a little crumbling at the edges.
In Stage 16 the rot is everywhere, neglect, rot, decay.