Author: Jan Scholten
Essence: fragility gets abused.
Fragility gets abused
They feel very fragile and are inclined to feel that others will abuse this. As soon as another person voices his opinion or sticks up for his own cause they feel neglected and humiliated. Criticism makes them feel even worse, causing them to cry or get very angry. And when others show them sympathy they feel humiliated because they believe it is done out of pity for their weakness.
Relationships cause problems in giving and and taking
They have difficulty finding the right balance between give and take and they feel it could easily disturb their relationship with family and friends. If they take too much the others might think them too selfish and if they give too much and don’t stick up for themselves the others may think them too soft.
Abused by the family
They often feel that they have to put aside their own wishes for the sake of the family. The rules at home are too strict, there is no space for what they want for themselves. There is little privacy and little time for their own hobbies. There is no balance between private and family matters. But they don’t feel safe enough to stand on their own feet and that is why they allow this situation to continue, for fear of losing the family altogether.
Victim within the family
It may be that one of their family members is severely ill or handicapped and therefore needing a lot of extra care and attention. Then they feel that they should help their family to take care of this person, that they can’t just leave and let others do the job. A family should stick together in such circumstances. But they may feel unhappy and abused, especially if the ‘victim’ is unkind to them and doesn’t seem very grateful.
Another situation may be where the family uses them to keep up their image, for instance by forcing them to take up a study that doesn’t interest them but which ‘looks good’ to the outside world.
The victim image
They may start to cultivate this image of being a victim. They’ll show the world how good they are, how much they give without asking anything in return. This then becomes a means in itself, and their self-worth and their image become dependent on this role. But underneath they feel worthless, as if they don’t deserve to ask anything for themselves.
Using the family for your own gain
They may also use their family for their own purposes. They start to lean on their father, always depending on his advice and his support. They let themselves be carried like a prince or princess on a throne.
Or they may impose their own rules on the household, their own desire for stability driving them to enforce a strict regime of order and punctuality on every single member of the family. It feels as if their image will collapse if everybody doesn’t strictly follow the rules.
A selfish family
Because the family image is so important, it may be difficult for them to accept if there are any irregularities, for instance a brother who is handicapped, a sister who hasn’t finished her studies, a child who is a drug addict, etc. If it becomes too embarrassing or they feel too many fingers pointed at them from the outside world, they will withdraw and shut off the outside world altogether. Their only focus becomes the family, as here they are safe and if they stick together they don’t need anybody else anyway. They become totally family orientated and society ceases to exist for them.
Timid and lazy
They can be very shy, especially when they first meet someone. But they also want to be liked so they will behave in a kind and pleasant manner, without going to the other extreme of actively putting themselves out to be kind. They are too lazy to make much effort to ingratiate themselves with other people.
Obstinate and indignant
They can also be extremely obstinate and independent, where they go their own way and won’t tolerate any contradiction. Advice is something they don’t want to hear, their attitude has become cold and hard. In order to maintain their image they will highlight one facet of their character and stubbornly persevere with their plans, almost in a sort of monomania. They can appear arrogant but also courageous and daring.
Fears: needles, injections, trifles, narrow spaces, not waking up, failure, exams, heights, vague, unknown, thieves, burglars, corruption, life, strangers, future, travelling, flying, open spaces, crowds, disease, death. Acute panic attacks.
Dreams: crystal, ice, mirrors, clairvoyant, cobwebs, needles, friends, school friends, family, thieves, worms, Sahara sand being criss-crossed with sticks.
Mood: refined, delicate, aristocratic, artistic.
Mental: forgetful << exams, absorbed by rifles and reading, Monomania < trifles, precise, punctual [crystal], mathematical, perfectionist, confusion, slowness, dementia.
Contacts: sympathetic, clairsentient, clairvoyant.
Causes: loss of parents, family, friends.
Build: thin, tall, fragile, looking old.
Weather: cold !!, blue with cold, blue/purple nails << cold, < cold water, < undressing, < cold wind; cold hands and feet !!; > heat; < draught !!, < outside.
Perspiration: profuse, stinking foot sweat !!; night sweats.
Time: < 11 am; < full moon; < winter, December.
Desires: egg, salt, cold food, fruit, milk, alcohol.
Aversion: milk !!, mothers milk !!, salt, meat, broccoli.
Food: < fat, milk !!, cheese, butter, pork, broccoli, alcohol, fasting.
Sleep: much !!, light, much tossing and turning.
Physical: <<< vaccinations, radiation; > massage, magnetising; < coition; < soap; < exertion, < smoke.
Pains: stitching, as of splinters or needles. Sensation as of a hair.
Discharges: thick, yellow, hard, smelling of old cheese, difficult to dislodge.
Tiredness, low blood pressure
Inflammations: chronic, obstinate, hard. Abscesses.
Epilepsy, petit mal.
Vertigo, black spots before the eyes.
Headache from occiput, spreading to forehead. Large head.
Headache, pressing, above right eye, eyebrow being pressed down, < working, talking, > rest.
Ear infections. Pustules in nose.
Colds, sinusitis. Swelling of glands.
Retrolental fibroplasia. Blindness.
Nose blocked, epistaxis.
Teeth: caries, crooked, large incisors; < dentition.
Throat dry, tickling, < talking. Loss of voice.
Coughs up white lumps. Hyperventilation.
Liver complaints, liver insufficiency, hepatogenic toxemia.
Constipation with hard stools which slip back.
Arthritis. Back pains, scoliosis.
Bones brittle, little elasticity; rickets, exostoses.
Skin thin and delicate, sensitive, cracks; fingertips.
Wounds heal slowly, leaving scars; keloids. Boils, acne, Vitiligo.
Eczema, itching, peeling, red, dry; on occiput.
Hair thin, brittle, grey, sticking up at the front. (Geukens, seminar Wageningen).
Nails brittle, fungus, yellow to blackish/brown, ingrowing, with white spots.
DD Carbon series, Silicon series, Stage 10 and 16, Muriaticums, Argentum, Aurum, Bariums, Fluoratums, Carcinosin, Causticum, Hepar sulphuricum, Lycopodium, Nitricums, Psorinum, Pulsatilla, Staphysagria, Thuja, Tuberculinum, Zincum.