18.12 Samarium oxydatum provingMeditation proving, seminar group, 30K, 22 March 1997, Amsterdam, remedy unknown.
Prover 1
Throat choked.
Thyroid.
Lower abdomen.
Birds floating in circles in the air, flying in loops like a show airplane.
Enjoying who I am.
Enjoying my body.
Love, strength.
Light yellow.
Right eyebrow, right occiput.
Prover 2Heaviness of right forehead.
I’m not succeeding, it isn't working out, but it’s OK.
Feels very little.
Stitching in left temple.
Prover 3The remedy feels too strong in right hand, so have to hold it in left hand.
Black and white.
Oppression high in the chest almost the throat, as from fright.
Jumping motions, short and fast.
A continuous movement as with a registration machine; increasing speed.
A process of turning to the right, fast.
Breathtaking.
Prover 4Bright light blue.
Light spots at the end of a tunnel, or spotlights?
Something that has to do with dying?
Prover 5Felt like a clock.
The hands of the clock went too fast, I couldn't follow them, they kept on turning.
When I caught up I felt quiet and tired.
Prover 6Heavy feeling.
Toothache.
Prover 7Thought: why worry, let it go.
Desire not to be disturbed.
Prover 8Intense heat, glowing.
I want to open my eyes, eyelids feel like trembling.
Works in the chest, I have to bend forward.
Feeling of old age.
Light stitches in the heart.
I'd like to stop the proving, it's causing a pressing feeling on the chest.
Prover 9Water.
Pressure on my ears.
Anxiety and happy.
Expanding space.
Tumbling, out of balance.
Pulsating of whole body.
Feeling spaced out.
Tingling hands.
After an hour still out of balance.
Oppressed feeling of chest.
Feeling down, pressed down.
Difficult concentration.
Prover 10Slight shock in my forehead: light, pleasant, happy, clear, bright.
Heavy in forehead, with cold sensation in nose.
Happy feeling became heavy as lead, threatening.
Oppression as from a stone on chest.
Prover 11Tearing feeling from right knee downward.
Head felt heavy, as if it wanted to fall backward.
Prover 12Throbbing feeling in whole body, as if all blood-vessels were pulsating.
Pleasant warm feeling.
Feeling of being a stalk of straw swaying on the wind.
No images.
Heavy feeling in neck and head.
Prover 13Difficult to come back.
Heavy.
Right side of face is torn down.
Right side of body is dark grey.
Forehead frowns.
Something nasty, I cannot reach it.
As if sitting on cotton wool, as if I'm holding cotton wool.
Woolly grey.
Heavy as lead, in my arms.
Pain in right forehead.
Slight palpitation. Breathing accelerated.
Prover 14
Pressure on forehead.
Flickering in eyes.
Weak feeling in stomach. Irritation from the air ventilator in the hall.
Desire for attention.
Desire to share, to be naked and open.
Prover 15Trembling of corners of mouth, strong, impossible to stop.
Salivation, copious and thin, in left side of mouth.
Feeling that there’s a volcano above my head, smoldering and smoking slowly and quietly.
It’s open, all can leave, but overall it’s quiet, not scary. Maybe there has been a violent eruption, but now it’s very calm.
Prover 16Nausea.
Feeling of being pressed down, especially the head.
Feeling of being torn down, by the feet, as if the body was left behind, not unpleasant.
Palpitations.
Remarkably few images.
Prover 17Nausea and a tight feeling in stomach.
Anxiety with the feeling to be able to go away, but that’s impossible.
Palpitations.
The space is too small. A narrow, tightened vague feeling.
Feeling as if all energy is in the digestion and lung area and it cannot go up or down.
Feeling as if not being able to go in any direction.
Prover 18Circles on water.
Glancing into a thick book.
Whirl.
I see the earth, the continents, but concave instead of convex, as if I’m looking from the inside of the earth. The contours are white as if of glass.
Prickling under left corner of mouth.
Insect-like creatures, whitish as if made from glass.
Rest.
Prover 19Very bright.
I’m a baby lying in a cradle under a window; the sun is shining delightfully on me; I'd like to fly away through the window, thinking of birds, wondering why I’m in the cradle.
Pleasant feeling, expecting something that doesn't come.
There’s nothing more than the cradle, the window.
Serene calmness, rest, space, delightful, but something essential is missing, I feel strongly that something alive is missing.
Prover 20
Pricking, electrical tingling on lateral side of hand and little finger, extending to elbow, along the course of the heart meridian.
Motion of eyeball.
Eyelids blink.
Desire to open eyes.
Desire to open mouth, to breath in air and light.
Jumpy feeling, light. Desire to make fast and sudden motions, shooting out.
Open feeling, as if air going through.
Prover 21Warm, tingling defiling, heavy and lame, in right hand and both lower arms.
Relaxed lame feeling in thighs and lower abdomen.
Right side of face and eye feel big, heavy and a bit wet.
State as if after cerebral bleeding or something like it, like hemiplegia.
Prover 22Image of a whirl in the water.
Image of a cell of the body, a microscopic image with red velvety nucleus.
Light green colors.
Heavy feeling, dull, sad, dreamy, after opening eyes.
Feeling as if I cannot get out of it.
Stiff pain in neck, pressure on the forehead.
Prover 23A vision of a terrain in the woods, with ferns and animal life in it. A writhing snake shooting forward, fighting some prey.
Left sided.
Aware of left shoulder and left upper arm, with a feeling of enlargement and tingling.
Left side of neck feels tense.
Tingling left hand.
Beauty and silence and richness of the micro cosmos, of the woods and the plants with the harmony and struggle between the little animals.
Prover 24Antagonism.
Disturbance of the sun.
Love, spontaneity.
Arrogance.
Passion.
Insistence.
Trembling.
Heart.
Prover 25Emptiness: nothing.
It takes me nowhere, why should it?
Nothing is needed.
What is important?
It’s good as it is.
Prover 26
Little to no thought and feeling.
Feeling as if my neck and back were raised and bulging. Head came to the front.
Idea of a ball shape.
Not unpleasant.
Atmosphere feels yellow.
Prover 27Stuck in a yellow web, but it’s not bad.
Rest.
Prover 28Only bodily impressions.
Left sided.
Stitching pain in left kidney region.
Palpitations.
Light irritation from the buzzing of the television.
[My physical complaints are right sided normally, and they've disappeared for the moment].
Prover 29Hurried feeling.
Palpitation.
Breathing through an open space back in the throat.
Tingling of right finger and right foot.
Prover 30Oppression of chest.
Aware of heart, it beats clearly.
Heaviness.
I want to put the remedy away, I don’t like the heaviness.
Sighing.
Prover 31I’m going downstairs into a garden: there’s a courtyard with shrubs, very tall trees and birds, it feels good. I sink down deeper, the staircase becomes longer and longer. I feel something pressing, something ominous, something black coming over me.
Heart beats, pain in chest; it went up like a black blanket, it feels more pressing and still very light. I couldn't go back. My feet lifted from the ground, I rose, I couldn't go, although I wanted to; with much effort I could go back, but I couldn't let go of the feeling of pressure and heaviness.
Shaky, weak.
The lightness felt very heavy.
Pressure, as if I couldn't move.
It came back high up in the top of a tree, view? Solution?
Prover 32Pressure on sternum. Bending of head.
No thoughts.
Prover 33
Difficult to breathe quietly.
Heavy, in arms.
Hands warm.
Sluggish.
Heaviness in neck, pressing downward and forward.
Psychologically heavy feeling, black.
Alone in the universe.
Prover 34Image: a grey wolf, searching restlessly, homeless in a completely strange environment.
A very modern landscape with advanced architecture.
Searching, with open mouth, pricked ears. I feel my ears, palpitations and headache.
He climbs on heights to find an exit.
Image of gold satin applied in a palace.
Soft feeling, resting at home.
Prover 35An enormous ball in my throat.
Heavy head.
Right sided: nothing, death, black, locked.
Left: open and light.
The energy was torn to the left in my head.
Fear.
Prover 36Felt the blood vessels in the right side of my body pounding as from a sledgehammer, especially in shoulder and head, not horrible, no pain.
Prover 37Difficult breathing, I have to think of it.
Superficial.
Pressure on chest, sternum.
Fullness in throat.
Palpitation.
Fear on touching the remedy.
Prover 38Stomach pain.
Pressure on chest.
Difficult breathing.
I want more air, feel short of breath.
Respiration fast, through nose.
Palpitation.
Prover 39Difficult grounding.
Counter force.
Restless.
Prover 40
Heaven blue.
Image of bark or tree, robust, very tall, evergreen.
Floating.
Prover 41Lump in throat, becoming bigger, like a mandarin.
The throat chakra closes.
I have to bend my head forward.
Aversion to the remedy, later acceptance.
Slight nausea, some pressure on sternum.
The remedy comes in my head.
Prover 42Bright yellow and black spots, like a tiger in a cartoon.
Pressure on heart, restless, shortness of breath.
Empty, totally no problem to keep out thoughts.
Pressure in neck.
Left forth finger is cold.
Big nervous pressure on my heart.
Heart beating.
Floating feeling, as in hypoglycaemia.
Prover 43A hard-boiled egg is open with the yolk and white visible.
Prover 44Yellow.
Pressure.
Eyes.
Aurum muriaticum.
Prover 45Restless.
Palpitation.
Stitching in left side of head
Heavy.
No images.
Prover 46Enormous pressure on throat and chest.
Anxiety and oppression as from grief.
Image of a big sinking boat, I'm floating in the sea somewhere and look at it with a fatalistic kind of acceptance.
Feeling that it is as it has to be.
Prover 47Head was loose from the body.
Legs were loose from the body.
Head is heavy.
Heavy, right sided.
Prover 48
I sit in the rain forest, in it and above it.
Many meandering rivers.
It’s as if I’m driving through the forest and the sunlight flickers in my eyes, as from a stroboscope.
Trembling feeling in my whole body.
Difficult to keep eyes shut.
Prover 49A big emotional discharge in the heart region, a liberation, spreading upward from the heart.
A release of a heavy pressure.
Prover 50Palpitation in chest.
No reaction or feeling further.
Prover 51Image of a beach, a big abandoned beach and a quiet sea.
Felt my heart noticeable.
Aware of heart beat.
Right side of face felt strange, small, as if my right eye was squeezed tight and my face was askew.
Prover 52Waves of anxiety and tension, rising from my abdomen.
Tension in chest, as if it was held.
Prover 53Pressure on head.
Heavy, feeling of falling forward.
Pressure in temples.
Menses.
Warm.
Lame hand and underarm.
Palpitation, feeling hurried.
Prover 54Mucus in throat.
Air. Blue sky.
Light green.
A big vastness.
Prover 55Light green turtles swim under water, I see them form below in feathery green.
Prover 56I’m sitting on a cushion, foul and grey, I float a little, don’t touch the ground.
I float a little and feel restful.
Image of a mouth with floating or frozen water.
Stitch in left buttock.
Prover 57
Pain in left lower tooth.
Itch in left lower jaw.
Feeling of spinning around in space or water.
Feeling as if screens are changing.
Feeling as if being in several dimensions.
Image of my daughter spinning around in space and time, like the raccoons in Alice in Wonderland that are going to another space by a spell and spin around in another dimension.
Severe shooting pain in lower back.
Heavy, nasty feeling in head.
Prover 58Sweaty on shoulders, neck, throat and upper side of chest.
Image of a tall, slender tree, someone is resting under it; the tree changes into lower shrubs; it’s like a Thuja with dark shade, cool.
Prover 59Cross.
Two crosses in space with the centers at the same place.
A crocodile with an open mouth, turning in a circle, a looping.
A face, serious with heavy spectacles.
Pain occiput.
Prover 60Strange heavy feeling in chest; unusual consciousness.
Feeling of the upper body being lifted.
Homeless feeling.
Prover 61Cold shiver.
Anxiety.
Image of a rim of a car-wheel with many spokes, the wheel started to turn and rolled away, faster and faster.
Santa Claus sitting on a horse with his miter.
Image of more horses, motion, like with the wheels.
Station hall with bent beams of steel carrying the roof.
Prover 62I feel absorbed in a warm feeling of total love.
I know I’m coming home.
I feel drawn to the centre of a spiral.
I weep a lot, it’s delicious.
My heart beats wildly and trembles.
Prover 63Feeling as if my vertex chakra is open [I had this feeling a few times].
It seems like the feeling after a few glasses of wine, but I get tired from wine, and from this feeling I become energetic.
It might be a good remedy for people with addictions.
Rising above myself.