Author: Jan Scholten
Essence: feels good, does not need relationships.
Retreat of values
He knows he is worth something but he does not feel inclined to enter into a relationship with other people yet. He would rather stay within his own world for a little while. It is as if they want to have a break from all the physical exertion, to enjoy their own values and not have to do anything.
In J. Sherr’s proving one of the provers put it very nicely: ‘I felt as if I was bathing in warmth and light. I lost the feeling of being isolated through being Myself. It was the most delicate and soft feeling I have ever felt in my life. My core was absolutely still, in deep silence. There were no thoughts flying around, only pure consciousness. That what I usually thought of as belonging to myself was all around me, there was no separation. There was no ‘I’, although my own identity still existed. The difference was that there was no boundary. It was as if I was given everything I had always longed for, and more. As if I had asked for the sun and was given the whole universe’.
All the provers felt very good in themselves.
Freedom from good and bad
In this stage they have worked through the issue of good and bad and risen above it. They no longer have these extreme emotions and fears. The dragons and the beasts still feature in their dreams occasionally, but they are not so threatening anymore. They have left behind their fears, anxieties and greed and they are able to enjoy a well earned rest. It is as if all their sins have been forgiven, they are free of the ‘original sin’.
Free in relationships
It is a sort of autistic state that may look very similar to Helium. The difference is the question of values: it not an issue for Helium, they don’t care how they come across to other people. Neon does care very much about values, it gives them the opportunity to manifest their presence. They don’t like to enter into relationships, they are the newcomer in the family and they don’t have to do anything yet. Communication isn’t necessary, as in the case of the newborn baby.
In J. Sherr’s proving we see this theme coming back in various ways. The provers felt withdrawn. They preferred to be alone, not talk to anyone, not share their experiences. They like to live without a partner although the desire to have a partner did seem to crop up from time to time. One prover had a strong desire to look through keyholes. Two typical dreams about this theme: ‘I knock on many doors, but nobody comes’. And ’I knock on many doors, but I walk away before anybody has a chance to open the door’. This sounds almost like children who want to ring the doorbell and then run away and hide.
They dream about babies and newcomers. Another dream expressing the feeling of being an outsider: ’I am sitting in a theatre and all the seats are positioned at right angles to the stage’.
They like to be free, not only free from other people, but free in general.
They experience a feeling of freedom in open spaces, they dream about birds, falcons, ducks, albatrosses and mountains. This desire shows itself in the sensation of being ‘spaced out’, light, floating etc. They like the wind which clears the skies and can blow where it wants to. They have no other desires, they don’t need food, possessions or company.
Because they don’t connect with anything or anybody they can feel quite cut off, locked up in themselves and blocked off from the outside world. One prover felt as if she was in a sort of transition stage like a menopause.
They are in the phase of transition between the inner world of the Carbon series and the world of relationships belonging to the Silicon series.
The cut-off feeling came back in dreams about deep freezers and Canadian snowshoes. Everything is cold and still, motionless and timeless.
The sense of freedom may lead to mistakes and confusion. They feel absent-minded and timeless, which can be nice at times, but it can also make them feel uneasy. It made the provers look around for clocks all the time. They also dreamt that events happened in reverse order, the future coming before the past. Their sense of space is also disturbed: they can be so disorientated that it is not safe for them to drive a car. They make mistakes in speaking and writing or they don’t know left from right anymore etc.
The free hero
In the Neon stage the hero has succeeded in breaking the spell, he slew the dragon and married the princess. And they lived happily ever after. But... the hero has to return to talk about his adventures and he doesn’t feel like doing this. He refuses to go back. He would rather stay free than go back into society and relate to other people again.
Dreams: ringing the bell and nobody coming to open the door; ringing the bell and running away fast.
Delusions: second day of creation, the flood, heart is open, meditating, short legs.
Mood: light, fast, ‘spacey’, as if in paradise, unity, calm, stable, content, heavenly, peaceful, warm, no effort, universal happiness; gloomy, depressed, empty, motionless.
Desires: (sky)blue, even numbers, 2, 10, 20.
Aversion: sharp noises, as made by radios and televisions.
Walking upright and gracefully.
Weather: cold, as if freezing; or very hot.
Time; < 5 pm, < 5 am.
Desires: nothing, oranges.
Aversion: cold drinks, bread.
Sleep: yawning !!.
Physical: << neon lights.
Headache, in temples, > hot bath.
Eyes dry, tired, -> closing them; heaviness and numbness of eyelids, as if they have been in chlorine.
Colds, much mucus, itching, blocked nose.
Sore throat, scraping, > water and tea, rasping, as if something stuck in it.
Low voice, deep voice.
Respiration asthmatic, cough < morning.
Wart on first joint of right index finger. Urticaria.
DD: Stage 18, hallucinogens, Cannabis indica, Anhalonium, Opium.
DD Fluor: has difficulty giving up his ego and his possessions. Neon has no attachment to the ego anymore: he has already conquered it.
DD Silicon series: makes real contacts, really wants to communicate. Neon would rather stay by himself. The marriage to the princess is more symbolic, it is an inner process. It is the marriage of opposites within the personality, an ‘alchemical marriage’, as Jung would call it, the merging of good and bad, male and female.