Rubidium

5.1 Rubidium, Case 1A 38 year old woman suffers from depression, she is discontented with herself and can’t find any peace. She feels like an empty sack, no power, like an air cushion
you sink into and you can hardly get out, it is as if she is suffocating. Every day she wonders how she’ll get through, all her energy goes into producing a meal at the end of the day. She is very irritable, mostly with herself. Doing nothing all the time makes her feel useless. Every now and then she feels a little push, a revival of her old self, but soon after that she collapses into a heap again. Music is the only thing that can occasionally bring her out of this mood, this chain that ties her down.
She feels like a caged lion and would like to scream and shout and run away. If only she could live in the jungle, in the natural rhythm of the world. She hates clocks and other reminders of a systematic world.
Her depression is largely due to the fact that she can’t find an expression for her creative talents. She would like to be creative, but it simply isn’t happening. She has been to drama school and loves acting and singing. She has worked as a creative therapist with children. These type of activities make her feel much better. But lately there has been no time for this sort of thing. She is too tired and too busy in the house with three young children. She would love to do something, but doesn’t know what. The ideas won’t come. If only she could feel inspired, if only the creative force would come again, if only she could make something or do something that was her very own.
The house and the children are quite a burden, she doesn’t mind doing it, but she wants something else apart from that. At the moment it takes all her time and energy. The children are very demanding and this irritates her. It feels like having to manage a business, housework, children, the daily running of things, she does it only because there is nobody else to do it for her. Money is another source of problems. She has no problem spending it, but she finds it very difficult to stick to her housekeeping budget.
Social contacts are getting neglected. She wants to meet people but doesn’t get round to it. She wakes up at night, holding long conversations in her mind, but never actually phoning her friends the next day.
After she had finished drama school she had experienced a similar kind of depression. She couldn’t find a job and spent whole days lounging in front of the fire, absorbed in mindless activities like doing crossword puzzles, cutting out recipes and reading letters.
She describes herself as extroverted, warm and friendly, everybody seems to like her. But to herself it feels more like keeping up a jolly act in order to be seen and heard. She loves to be the centre of attention and can be quite negative about others, either her husband or her children, to make herself feel more radiant. But everything seems to be too chaotic, she can’t get a grip on herself. She doesn’t know how it all fits together and can feel quite lost, as if she’ll drown in all the chaos. She often feels a bit stupid when she is in a large group of people, but she’ll mask this by acting jolly and chatting brightly.
She imagines herself like a soft rubber ball, floating in space. Attached to this rubber ball are all sorts of brightly coloured bits. These bits are her reactions to her environment, they are direct and very impulsive. But nobody can see what is taking place on the inside: here the reactions are very slowly filtering through to an azure blue coloured centre. And although the reactions are filtering through very slowly, nothing is being done with it.
A similar theme runs through her own family. Everyone always clamoured for attention, everyone tried to be even better than the others, shouting and showing off and outdoing each other. The whole family thought that they were that much smarter and wittier than everyone else, a cut above the rest, and they made sure others knew it too. She was an afterthought and could never compete with her big brothers.
Her reactions are spontaneous and impulsive and therefore usually quite tactless.
She can be very nasty, but regrets it later on. She is very emotional and apt to burst into tears, which can change into laughter within a few minutes. She is always bright and boisterous in company, but gloomy when alone. Her attention is focused on those around her, she wants to please people and make them happy. This attitude makes her welcome wherever she goes and it also makes her a very good hostess.GeneralsWeather: < damp, dark, rainy weather.
Time: < September; < 4-5 am.
Menses: depressed, aggressive and negative before menses, which she only became aware of after taking Rubidium.
Sleep: frequent waking around 4-5 am, tossing and turning.AnalysisThe tremendous desire to be creative and the depression because she is unable to fulfil this desire indicates a remedy from the Silver series.
The impulsive, thoughtless behaviour is typical of stage 1, which brings us to Rubidium.
Further confirmation for the Silver series: > large company, <- system and structure, family sticking out above the masses, > singing, acting.
Confirming stage 1: Chaotic, no overview, alternating crying and laughing, alternating revival and collapse, spontaneous.
DD: Lachesis, Crocus, Platinum, Palladium, belladonna, Pulsatilla, Nitric acid.ReactionAfter Rubidium metallicum 1M she felt awful for two weeks. The depression got worse, she felt like an angry lion, roaring and fuming at everyone. Then she went on holiday and during that time she started to feel much better, more feeling about what is going on, more feeling of who she is and what she can do. Her strength is coming back and she has become more independent. She is more aware of when she is rejecting her husband and manages to avoid doing this most of the time. The angry lion has disappeared. The creativity has not had a chance to express itself yet, but she feels it will come, she want to start singing.
Two months later she gets a repeat dose. That same evening she feels a tremendous heat in her stomach, heat radiating out to the front. After that she has pain in her left eye again for one evening.
One year and two more doses of Rubidium 1M later she feels reborn. The inner lion has calmed down. Her artistic side is waiting like a precious stone to be discovered, and she trusts that this will happen. She has started to do puppet plays at schools and parties and gets paid for doing it.