Meditation proving, 26-10-2019, Haltern am See.
Prover 5Dreams before and during the seminar
1. Before the seminar: I am living in the DDR; There is an atmosphere of control and you have to subordinate. I know that I am being monitored.
2. Memory of a picture, during my first cancer: a skull, totally emaciated; the innards are still there. it is full of maggots are eating them up. I talk to the maggots and try to explain to them that if they devour everything they will take their own livelihood. They are indifferent to it. I know that I have to die.
3. During the seminar: I am living in a skyscraper. I know that I'm not welcome and I want to go. The exit of the house is a ramp with bars. You can only go down to the right or left. The left exit is closed – only the right side is remaining. Everything is full there, too. I can barely pass it by now. The next day, the right exit is also locked so that I can not leave the house; I am locked up.
Prover 7Deep darkness and deep light, and this which is beyond...
I had a quite strong feeling of confusion in my mind, although I could think and manage things.. But this confusion gave me the feeling not wanting to communicate with anyone. I do not know something like that in this way.
Luckily this disappeared on Monday and I was able to work...:))
Love.
Prover 10Isn’t it funny that the interviewer says “it’s probably very hard to communicate with them…. because of the concrete definitions we planted in our head”….
That was the feeling I had, in my intestines and lungs, air becoming like cement in my lungs and my tommy hardened like concrete……
Which today is gone, I’m glad……:-)
Perhaps even the hour of death.
Sends us young towards new spaces.
Life's call to us will never end... Well then, heart, take leave and be well! Hermann Hesse.
Prover 14On the surface, fungi are about decay and destruction or transformation and loss (the decay and transformation of the forest soil, trees, wood, animals in general, organic material in the figurative sense of the carbon series and thus the transformation or decay of ego structures).
Below it, under the forest floor etc. of the carbon series, however, it is about the connection to all (German word all, means the Universe). The fungi-net (mycelium) connects everything and in this way it provides the building materials, the minerals for the "new life or the construction of life".
Below the surface of life (the horizontal level) there is the vertical level, a meaningful interweaving of all areas of life and all there themes, which can be experienced but not completely understood. The access to this level is supported by the mushrooms, and is made by them more "experienceable, tangible". It is another level of "being" that remains largely closed to rationality.
In general it can be said that people's lives are permeated by fractures in their biographies and thus, depending on the experience of these fractures, make the prescription of a mushroom possible. Finally, the cracks in life bring about a deepening, an evolution in consciousness. Without loss, without breaks not much development in consciousness happens. Mastering this experience can be supported by mushrooms and lead to an ease in dealing with them. With each crack, light shines through.
Hermann HessePhasesAs every flower wilts and youth
gives way to age, so unfolds every phase,
all the wisdom and virtue
when it so does - and know that none lasts forever. With every call of life, the heart
must be ready to part and start
again, in courage and joy,
surrendering to new, otherly liasons, as
In the core of every beginning lives magic
Magic that protects us and helps us live.
We are to stride along spaces, joyously,
clinging to none as thought it was home
the world soul does not seek to fetter and confine us; phase after phase it wants to elevate and expand us. slumber grows threatening as soon as we,
immersed in coziness, become used
to a cycle in our lives -
Only those ready to part, depart
may rid themselves of paralyzing habits.
Perhaps, as the call of life in us finds no end, at the hour of our death we are still
to be faced with novel spaces. walk on then, be off, be well!,
oh sweet heart of ours.
I often had an elevation of the transversal colon in the upper abdomen, especially under the right ribcage perhaps also in conjunction with liver complaints, especially at night < 3 - 5 o'clock with a pressing pain and therefore insomnia. With a lot of gas formation, this is no longer since our seminar, the encounter with the mushrooms. Altogether I feel more connected with the world and also more myself. I have the feeling that I can be more myself. Hope that stays that way;-))))) And I have the feeling that the mushrooms have also to do with serving, like the Lanthanides or the Gold series,Uranium series.
Prover 19
About my health condition
During the last night in Haltern I had this "Heiner Frei and Heiner Freimann"-dream, with burning in my throat.
The following night was bad as well and on Sunday I was so exhausted with fever, that I could hardly move.
Arsenicum album (found with the help of Heiner Frei's polarity analysis!), helped me considerably.
I would not share my personal health history if I did not link it to the fungus-weekend.
The following dream I had the night between Thursday and Friday.
I hope you don't feel bothered or bored by my stories.
Dreaming stories is rather rare for me.
DreamThis is the story of a man, starting in his youth. He was notorious for his dirty tricks. First he joined others in playing dirty tricks, then he created them himself. No one could think himself safe. He was not a criminal but a constant nuisance,
exposing or teasing people in a small old village in Northern Italy. No one thought he would ever become a well respected member of society.
Then something happened. Incendiary bombs were thrown upon the village. His sister survived with her face seriously burnt.
Numerous operations and treatments would have been needed to reconstruct her face and make her life bearable. The family could not afford this, so the young man started to make money. First with rogueries, later he became boss of a well-reputed firm.
Being a well respected person, he avoided to remind anyone of his past, of his youth.
Yet, when he was by himself and had to think about his sister, about an ongoing treatment or a recent problem, he sat behind his desk, opened the drawer, took out numerous little pieces he had kept from his youth. A brown bottle, formerly used for cream or sour milk and similar even more absurd pieces, some of them reminding him of his rogueries or they were gifts from his family.
He put them in a row in front of him and thought how he could help his sister.
When he had found a solution, he put the memorabilia back to the drawer and became the principal again, as those around knew him.
Prover 19Paul Stamets has been with mushrooms for more than 40 years.
"Mycelium running" is a very nice book of Paul stamets. I had it with me in Haltern, I do not know why I didn't show it to you.
During the last night in Haltern I had this "Heiner Frei and Heiner Freimann"-dream, with burning in my throat.
The following night was bad as well and on Sunday I was so exhausted with fever, that I could hardly move.
Arsenicum album (found with the help of Heiner Frei's polarity analysis!), helped me considerably.
I would not share my personal health history if I did not link it to the fungus-weekend.
The following dream I had the night between Thursday and Friday.
I hope you don't feel bothered or bored by my stories.
Dreaming stories is rather rare for me.
Prover 19Dream, the night prior to the travel to Haltern
I join a group of three, 2 young males, one young female for a field trip, researching “sea snails”. They show me three species on the shore. Their shape reminds of a molar tooth without its crown. The three strong roots are intertwined, of a whitish bony structure, between half a meter and one meter high. They are stuck in the sand with the ends of the roots. The sand between the roots shows they have been covered by sand until recently.
We return to the simple cabin, the woman cooks pasta while the men play a simple ball game, rolling a ball from one cabin wall to the other, back and forth. The longer the ball is in motion the greater the success. All easy going, simple, funny.
After the meal the woman approaches my neck with her lips which feels nice, but I realize she is not the person who should do this.
While waking up at this point, I imagine what would have happened now. The woman’s action was against the group’s rules. Sexuality separates. Jealousy will arise, mistrust and envy. Fun is over.
Whatever happens to one member of the group affects the whole group and the whole group reacts.
DiscussionHexenröhrling: I have the last chance.
Boletales: father themes, more phallic than
AgaricalesBoletus edulis: falling, falling. Falls of old people.
Dream of falling from the mountaintop.
Agaricales: transsex, heterosex; couples living on "different levels, e.g. only meet for coffee or when the children come to visit.
Mushrooms: Will, libido,first drive, Evolution, Devolution.Developmental disorders in children, dementia.
Injuries.
Psilo: Bone fracture.s, external fixator, bone healing... "becoming whole again
SH-trauma, coma vigil: ringworm-tinea, nosode.
Sparassis crispa; curly hen.