A young woman of 33 years, she is overwrought, and she has anxieties. Feels ‘done in’; after the whole process with her employer she is now relieved to have been declared unfit for work: now I can recover. She considers herself highly sensitive, a new-age person; she does not manage to get along with people. She has no relationship; in her youth she had a boyfriend. She is quickly bothered by people who are bossy, who criticise her. “I am always preoccupied with ‘who is being nasty to me’, from a feeling of inferiority that I have. When people in a group give off signals, I always think they are negative about me. When I have visited someone, I need a week to recover. Feel sucked dry. I very much want to be liked, I am suspicious, even allergic to what they think of me. I feel that there is not 100% trust towards me, that you don’t belong, that you are getting it wrong again.”.
When she does have rest, she is happy; nice things are parties, Christmas, family, being with pleasant people, that goes well. She has a need for confirmation. When she visits someone the tension comes, then her heart pounds, nausea, her stomach is tight, no more enjoyment. She does not let things go, they are obsessions. She does a lot of therapy, in groups, and feels the criticism and vulnerability there too.
‘A pity that I was raised so fearful’, she tells in tears; father is a kind man though. But you always had to be on your guard with him, but they are your parents. Even now she is always on her guard. That other people will betray you, that it can go wrong. She is afraid of being disturbed in my happiness. Reads books about ‘the cause of the complaint on a spiritual level’. After
Calcium bromatum things went well for a week. After that came a pounding, at the stomach, the rib arch and the heart. She then cannot breathe properly for a few days.
She is tired, she does not get around to herself. She has to sleep the tension out, or exercise. Once the energy flows again she has pain at the solar plexus. She has a fear of blushing, for a whole period now, just like in the past, which she is ashamed of. She then feels herself getting hot. She feels it so strongly when someone rejects her. In tears again. She is focused on ‘everyone must like me’; the more she makes her own choices, the worse it gets. Mother did that in the past too. What am I doing wrong. What is wrong with me. But I can’t help it. I so terribly want to belong.
AnalysisSeries 6,
Lanthanides: she is also much preoccupied with the meaning of life, stands alone in it, the shadow side of life, the
Lanthanides theme (has had depressive periods and hard years).
Silicon series,
Series 3: a problem area, what is important to her, what she focuses on: family, parents. Happiness: with the family, relatives, that is where she finds safety.
Phase 2: Insecure, not yet having a place, not being able to build this up: think here also of the sensitivity to criticism, ‘what do they think of me’ as known from
Calcium, a
Stage 2 property, also characteristic of
Phase 2.
Subphase 3: dependent on others and on the situation as a reaction to the insecurity, the adapting of oneself. Dependent on therapy.
Stage 14: Nothing can be done about it. The giving up (let me just be declared unfit) is her work, but she sees that as her purpose in life, that is where she seeks appreciation (where it also failed every time: becoming insecure and overawed).
Prescription:
Gibbaeum pubescens C200.
Follow upFor the first two weeks she challenged herself, going to shops and on visits. That exhausted her, she needed a week to recover from it. It blocked quickly. I fall asleep late, cold feet. I am fed up with it. I want to feel good, I try so hard, with diet, with yoga. Or my chest area is struck lame. The last few days I am nauseous, a seasick feeling – begins to cry – when she watches TV, then it starts to spin, when I look at a car (here we see a confirmation of the
Phase 3 aspect; after a good reaction it happens more often that the remedy picture becomes clearer). From a hothouse plant there is now some pepper to be seen in her, a reaction seems to be getting under way; two weeks is short, so: wait. After six weeks: things are going well, I still let myself be sucked dry, but it no longer lasts a whole week, and after a day the nasty feeling has passed again. On such a bad day I do not feel myself, as if something with my feeling is no longer there. What is also going well now: parents are on holiday for a month; in the past I would then have had anxiety, now not, I now feel more that I stand on my own feet. I have grown in that. I no longer feel dependent. I am detaching myself from mother; I notice that she always used to lean on me, I had to earn the attention, first do something for her before I got anything back. Sleep is going better. She has told the psychologists what she thinks, and no longer feels dependent, she is going to wind down the therapy soon. Dream: that I had a cut in my thumb, I was afraid, I had to go to hospital. She is looking for volunteer work. At a rejection: it all hurts less badly, it is over sooner, the recovery goes faster and better. They are know-it-alls, they place themselves above you (therapists, group leaders), she now dares to tell them, whereas previously she was very dependent on them. Theme: do I belong, rejection, quickly doubting, insecure. In the years after this she continues to do well.