Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Qjure
Type:
Picture
Chapter:
1-260.00.14
Erbium metallicum
The most striking quality of Erbium is that they feel indifferent, aloof. That's the impression one gets as a therapist. It's as if they have resigned from life and are standing aside from life. In a 'positive' way this can express itself in ironic and laconic behavior. This is when it's a deep state, when it is their character. Philosophically they are stoic. In a depressed state it feels more like a gloom and being out of touch with the origin of it.
Analysis
Formally having self-control
Powerless to retain autonomy
Diverting to maintain autonomy: laconic.
Discarding their autonomy
Discarding things to keep autonomy
Dismissed and thus going into the inner world: out of contact
Powerless against the inner world
Powerless in self-control
Dodging the inner world: unfeeling
An ironic therapist
An indifferent and distant therapist
Formally having self-control
They can look as if they have things under control, but in reality they feel as if they haven’t got anything of real importance under control. They feel confused and chaotic, having nothing in order. Their thoughts go on and wander. They can behave as if they have control, but internally they don’t have it. They feel powerless. They want to fight the regulations, but cannot.
Divert to maintain autonomy
In order to preserve their autonomy, they avoid confrontations. They have the feeling that they don’t have the real power to maintain their independence when it comes to a dispute. They distract themselves and others from the real issues so that they keep their inner autonomy.
Gloom
They have a feeling of gloom, as if something terrible is going to happen, but they don’t know what. It is terrible to endure but they can't do anything about it, because they don’t know what it is. It can feel like carrying the burden of the whole world on their shoulders without any chance of escape. It is like Atlas carrying the globe on his shoulders. They have to endure that enormous inner tension, without being able to change anything. They can only wait. But they feel desolate and completely on their own. They have the feeling of having no future. They cannot be consoled or comforted as they are completely on their own.
Closing off the inner world: unfeeling
They are very sensitive, too sensitive for this world. Their emotions are troublesome, even unbearable. This is strengthened by their idea of not being able to do anything about it. So they develop a tendency to store all emotions away. They don’t want to feel anymore. So they try to get rid of it by behaving as if it doesn't exist. Their motto could be “Don’t think about it, then it can’t be that bad". It is as if they have stored all their problems in a cupboard and closed the door.
This can even lead to drug abuse and addiction, like tranquilizers, marijuana, opium and heroin. This is beautifully expressed in the song “Comfortably numb” from the album “The Wall” by Pink Floyd.
Dismissed and thus going into the inner world: out of contact
They lose contact with their emotions and thus with others, they shut off. They become very closed, for themselves and others, wanting to retreat on their own.
By storing all their feelings and emotions away they lose contact with their own inner world. They feel then a kind of emptiness, as if nothing is there anymore. But it’s still not a pleasant feeling, because there’s still the feeling of an unknown threat. They have very little contact with others and have an aversion to company and parties. They're unable to understand others and others don’t understand them.
The desire for contact remains in the background: "Can you hear me, can you feel me, can you see me, is there anyone in there, is there anyone out there?".
Irony
Their lack of power makes them resigned and flat. They get a distant feeling, as if they're standing above situations like a Buddhist. They resign from the world, letting go of desires, emotions, responsibilities and problems. They don't say or show much, so that others can think they're stupid. They let others think that way and won't fight that opinion, but they know better. This can come out sometimes in the form of ironic remarks, where one can see their insight. But even those remarks have a double meaning, so that they cannot be pinned down on it.
They often behave with a distant attitude, as if they are not involved. They are aloof and detached, secluded and reserved. They give the impression of being indifferent. Philosophically it's stoicism.
Powerless against the inner world
They have the feeling that their inner world is stronger than they are. The shadow in their soul feels like something that cannot be mastered. So they try to keep away from that side in their life. They fear that the spiritual quest may take the lid off the cesspool.
Autonomy
Erbium has the feeling that they cannot do anything any more to keep their autonomy. They can develop an attitude of indifference towards this topic, a stoic state. Or they can place themselves in a position where they are out of the mainstream of the struggle, where they cannot be attacked.
Shadow
Erbium is on the edge of the black hole, just before being thrown into annihilation, just before being taken over by the shadow. He cannot escape anymore the attracting force of the black hole, so he can only wait until it happens.
Has the feeling that autonomy is not real, just a disguise.
Power
Erbium feels he has no real power anymore. Even when he has power internally, he feels he has no power to exert it in the world. But he covers it up behind a mask, not showing his lack of power.
Mind
Irony, stoic, laconic.
Aloof, resigned, indifferent, uncomplaining, numb.
Gloom, desolate, blues.
Slow, inert, passive, lethargic.
Drug addictions: marijuana, opium, morphine.
General
Desire: cannabis, opium, morphine, heroin.
Physical
Sensation: heavy, full pain.
Eyes: low pressure, hollow.
Pressure behind mastoid; sensation head is in a vice, as from a hand.
Lungs: granulomas, pneumoconiosis, bronchitis, pneumonia, tuberculosis.
Chest pressure, heavy, tight, tension.
Heart pressure, sensation of right heart is turned to the front.
Liver problems: necrosis, fatty degeneration; spleen problems.
Colitis, diarrhea.
Abdomen lower, tearing pain.
Constipation.
Kidney problems.
Male: testis, epididymis, seminal vesicles, infertility.
Female: ovaries, uterus, infertility, miscarriage.
Arthritis.
Blood: platelets, coagulation problems.
Symbolism
Myth: Heracles Labor 11: Heracles gets the apples of the Hesperides.
Music: Pink Floyd, Comfortably numb.
DD: Niccolum, Thulium.