5.3 Phase 3EssenceThey feel accepted, but only conditionally. They have to adapt to the group. Their place is not fully stable. They feel unsure about their position, often not knowing what to do and how to handle it. Being part of the group causes a confusion over where the group starts and where it ends. The boundary between them and the group is not settled yet. When they follow their own will they can often feel guilty and ashamed, especially when they think their motives are in conflict with those of the group. On the other hand, they often do what the group expects from them. But then they can feel that they overrule their own wishes. It can happen that they are confused about what the group is really expecting from them.
Confusion Foggy VertigoThey often have a kind of foggy feeling. Things are not clear, unclear, vague, indistinct, blurred, indefinite, opaque, shadowy, cloudy, muddy, mixed up. They often express things with a lot of hesitation, ambivalence and relativity, not straightforward. Physically this is often expressed as a kind of vertigo. It can be seen in car sickness, seasickness, vertigo and nausea in roundabouts or roller coasters.
Soft PleasingThey have a soft quality and are seldom aggressive. They are more the pleasing type. They are pleasant people to be with. By pleasing others, they hope to get a good position in the group, that they will be accepted, acknowledged and loved. Very often they lose themselves by adapting and pleasing too easily. It is difficult for them to stop others, to set boundaries. Others can easily invade their territory. They can dream that others live in their house.
HalfThey can have the feeling that they are half in something. They are half in the group. They feel part of the group but have to give part of themselves away for that. They are stepping into something but are not standing yet. They are in motion and unstable. They are not grounded yet. They feel as if having no ground under their feet or as if the ground under their feet is pulled away. They feel they don’t have a place, they don’t know where they stand, where they belong. They feel they cannot set their boundaries. They have difficulty to say no.
TriangularTheir position can become especially problematic when they are in between people, for instance between their mother and wife, or in tri- angular relationships. They can be the middle manager, standing in between the directors and the working people. Or they can stand in between their mother and wife, who are in competition with each other.
Triangular relationships are typical, like partners having an affair. Or the situation of a stepparent, where the child asks himself if the parent is their real parent or not. In all those situations there is the feeling that one has to choose, but cannot choose as there is loyalty to both sides.
GuiltThey often have the feeling that it is their fault when something goes wrong. They can easily feel guilty about something, even when they have not done it. They feeling guilty about what happens, taking on the blame, for instance as a child when a parent dies. They always have the idea that others are better and know better.
MindFeeling not seen, not heard, not accepted, conditionally loved!! Lack of boundaries, cannot say no to others.
Empathy!! Mediating; compensating.
Manipulation, manipulative, manipulated.
Orientation problems, disorientation.
Between two persons, parents, relatives; stepparent; stepchildren. Adapting, pleasing, giving themselves half away.
Questioning.
Minority position.
Profession: butler.
GeneralKeywords: unsure, timid; foggy, confused, unclear, vague, indistinct, blurred, indefinite, opaque, shadowy, cloudy, muddy, mixed up; pleasing, adapting; not seen or heard or accepted, complimented, soft, conditionally loved.
Physical: better from bandage, massage.
BodyVertigo!, feeling of no ground under their feet; carsick, seasick; worse from roundabouts, roller coasters.
Ear: tinnitus, Meniere’s disease.
PlantsHerbs, pleasant scent, hanging plants, hanging flowers.
Plants that were difficult to classify:
Malpighiales,
Boraginales.
DDIt has a great deal in common with
Boron,
Aluminium,
Stage 3 till 9.