Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Qjurious
Type:
Info
Chapter:
1-266.00.02
Barium muriaticum
'I was never allowed to be a child'
Concepts
Baryta Muriatica
Ridiculed Self pity
Small, futile Care and nurturing
Retarded Mother
Hiding Attention
Shyness Self-awareness
Analysis
The group analysis gives us as the essence the idea that they cannot be a good mother, that they are such a bad mother that everyone will laugh at them. They feel that they cannot cope taking care of the children. This makes them very depressed, with a desire to withdraw. Their behaviour might seem very childish, also because of their exaggerated fear of doing something wrong. They often did not get enough attention themselves when they were a child, their own mother disapproving of their childish behaviour.
A variation of this can be that they feel that they are not allowed to ask for attention. As a child they felt that they should not ask for anything. One of my patients put it like this: 'I felt that I was not allowed to be a child'. They live with the idea that any behaviour that is childish, dependent or asking for attention is ridiculous. That is also the reason why they don’t like to play: playing is childish. In both cases the motherly care is very chaotic and inconsistent. One could laugh at it if it weren’t so sad.
Another variation on the theme might be that of the mother of a retarded child. She has to take care (Muriaticum) of a 'ridiculous, idiotic' child. In this case she may have the feeling that she herself is ridiculous: 'someone who produces such a child must be a bit strange herself'.
A final variation on the theme might be the situation of someone who is the child of a retarded mother. The original situation could be that the mother suffers from dementia. The mother starts behaving in a very childish way and asking for a lot of attention, just as a child would do. Later on she is taken into (hidden in) a nursing home. This situation might cause a feeling of shame about their mother. They would rather not talk about it. They even feel disinclined to go and see their mother. Added to this will be a fear that they themselves may end up like this. Visiting their mother brings back this fear each time.
Because of their feelings of insecurity, their behaviour is often very childish. In the repertory we will find this in the rubrics 'foolish', 'childish', 'cretinism', also in 'delusion walks on his knees', and 'delusion legs are cut off'. Other rubrics are 'company aversion' and 'strange, everything looks'.
We also find in the literature the symptom of increased sexual desires, but I have not seen this myself. It does not really fit into the theme of the group analysis. It is possible that the increased sexuality is a symptom belonging to a complementary remedy. It is also possible that the general childishness and desire for nurturing makes them crave for physical contact,which they express by asking for cuddles, or sitting on someone's lap. This could be interpreted as sexual behaviour and they probably would not mind what it was called.
Essence
the delusion of being a stupid mother who will get laughed at. Or being a child who has the delusion that he will be laughed at if he asks for care and attention.
Mind
As a child they feel neglected. That is why they have such a need for being nurtured and cherished. But they can’t ask for it, they don’t even dare to show it. They are afraid of being laughed at. They think that it is childish to want these things. They don’t like playing either, because it is too childish.
As an adult they will try to ask for attention indirectly. They might start to show many complaints and be very pathetic. And when others offer to help them, they will say 'No, don’t bother'. But they don’t mean it, because they do want that attention. So if the other person takes it literally and really doesn’t bother, they feel very neglected.
And so their behaviour becomes very ambiguous and demanding. The other person may feel very guilty every time they meet.
They are not good enough as a mother or parent. At least this is how they feel, and because they feel so unsure about themselves it almost has to go wrong. They feel that they will make a mess of it and that everything they do is ridiculous. This they will also try to hide for fear of being laughed at.
On the other hand they can get totally absorbed in their care for the children. The same fear of not being good enough makes them go the other way, doing everything they can towards the education of the children all the time.
Generals
Location: left sided
Weather: cold, < cold, < damp.
Desire: sweet, salt, spices.
Aversion: meat.
Menses: < before and at beginning of menses!!.
Body
Pressing pains. Weakness. Emaciation.
Dementia. Idiocy. Retarded development. Dwarfishness.
Headache.
Tonsillitis with swollen glands. Cancer of the glands.
Tonsils swollen and inflamed.
Arteriosclerosis.
Complaints of menses, too late or too little. Sterility.
Painful and swollen breasts before menses.