Author: Jan Scholten
644.16.17 Averrhoa bilimbi
Culture: Metallica, “St Anger”.
Source: Lamu provings.
There is a hardness, coldness from having received no love or care in their youth. It is like young men living on the streets, fighting in street gangs. They have no self-worth and self-love so they do not have love for others. In the extreme they can be cruel and heartless, even become a criminal.
The stage is obviously Stage 17. We see the rejection and crime, the cruelty and despair.
Full of hatred, from a bad childhood, having no father, an uncaring and hard mother, living on the street.
Young man in street gangs; kicking, hitting, beating, threatening passers-by.
Criminal, South American drug dealer, imprisoned, Russian roulette.
Anger, aggressive anger, desire to kill, shoot them in the head, without pleasure or joy, just nothingness.
Desire money, wealth, women but not pleased by it, cannot really enjoy what they have.
No respect for nature, people.
Hard, heartless, fearless, dark, no feelings, menacing, defiant, cruel anger.
Aversion contact, being talked to, being looked at; distant.
Everyone is seen as stupid, especially weak people in poverty.
Desire to be in the centre to frighten everyone passing by.
Desire to hurt people, infect them with malaria, fuck them.
Wealth, hardness, heartless.
Desire: heavy metal music, of Metallica, in particularthe album “St Anger”.
Feeling better by getting into contact with one’s own hatred and use the energy differently.
Desire: coffee, alcohol, tequila.
Sleep: sleepy, dazed; yawning.
Head: headache, behind left eye.
Nose: itching; sniffing.