622.46.16 Myristica sebifera, CaseMan, 55, sleepless.
He wakes after 2 hours of sleep with trembling, hot legs and feet. It is better in the winter and when he stands with his feet on cold floor and is worse from emotions. He lacks the power to process his emotions in the daytime. In the night emotions come back, fear that he has done something wrong as a doctor and he will be sued. It gives a cramped feeling on his chest. He feels he cannot do enough to please everyone, his wife, the neighbours, his colleagues, his patients. He goes on and on but cannot do more.
He does not allow himself to make mistakes. This comes from being pinched by his father when he made mistakes. His father pulled his ear, beat him everywhere, with sticks and belts. He was often very upset because he did not know why his father did it, the least trifle could provoke it. It gave him the feeling of having no right to exist. He was trembling and sweating when he was going home as a child. He did not grow up as a conscious being. He always felt unsafe, like a baby, being humiliated by his father. This still comes back when he meditates. He did not know what love is. He wants to love himself but also to be hard on himself. He has had suicidal periods.
He has aggressive moments, worse in the night. When he had children he beat them in the beginning too, but stopped when he realised what he was doing.
Fear: night, dark; going to bed; being abandoned.
At 9 he had osteomyelitis in his tibia; he almost died from sepsis. It kept suppurating for 2 years.
AnalysisThe theme of the anxious child is the domineering theme,
Magnoliidae.
The lack of love means
Phase 6 or 7.
The osteomyelitis is typical for Myristica sebifera.
Follow upAfter Myristica sebifera MK he relaxes. He sleeps better, trembles less and falls asleep content. He accepts a part of him that is not really his but from his father.
In the course of a year he becomes mild instead of anxious. He develops an inner trust and peace.