15.7 Thulium oxydatumAnalysisIdea of being bad if being egotistical
Idea of being evil because of being neglected as a child
Behaving maliciously due to a neglected childhood
Neglected as a child because he's evil
Evil from being abused
Bad from being left by father
Evil from handicaps
Giving up autonomy for money
Giving up autonomy fearing to be neglected
Giving up autonomy and being abused
Bad from egotism
Loss of freedom is unfair
Fear going to hell because of corruption
Freedom can only be gained by giving up egotism
Abused in a religious sect
Dark abuse
Idea being bad when being egotisticalThey have the idea that they are a bad person if they are egotistical or greedy. They feel as if the shadow, the dark side of their soul has taken over their power. Using others or the world easily feels like abuse and that is so evil that they feel they've lost themselves. They can have the feeling that they are a very negative dark person who only lives for his own good. They can even give away everything to prevent feeling bad, although that won't always help.
Idea of being evil because of being neglected as a child
The feeling of being a lost person often arises from a childhood where they were neglected. They couldn't get support from their father. So they felt neglected, having to do everything on their own and not getting respect from their parents. So their self-respect is lost too. They're often abused as a child because they were not independent enough to stand up to emotional blackmail or manipulation.
Abused in a religious sectTo overcome their bad feeling they can seek rescue or salvation in spiritual fields or sects. They can give up their autonomy in order to get liberation. Or they are abused by a sect leader who preaches hellfire and damnation. The preaching of hell and doom has a big impact on them which makes them give up their autonomy.
MindDream: limbs chopped off, fingers or whole hand chopped off.
Dream: little devil, shit.
Delusion: forearm is fractured, head is smashed in with a hammer.