18.26 Lutetium fluoratum provingMeditation proving, seminar group, 30K, Utrecht, 7 May 2003, remedy unknown.
Prover 1
Tickling, itching at right side of head.
Light burning of the edge of right ear.
Fire has to be extinguished.
Fire brigade, but it’s an Easter fire, so no reason to panic.
Tearing in right shoulder.
Resurrection.
Prover 2Restless eyelids.
Trembling in eyelids left inner side.
Rotating light movements, in dark blue, rotating round an axis, like a rotating light.
Palpitation.
Feeling as if looking from deep inside head to eyelids.
Light, empty.
Prover 3Very heavy in chest, tearing me down.
Cramp in palms and fingers. A shimmering light, the rest was dark.
Very slow feeling.
Prover 4A circular, dark, grey solid, inner space, giving me safety.
Prover 5Helicopter blades turning above my head.
Heaviness in hands and feet.
Pressure above left shoulder blade extending to left neck.
Rest.
Several three-dimensional images that shift over each other.
A skeleton of a dinosaur that walks by.
Wheezing on inspiration [I have that in the night when lying on my right side].
Stitching pain in right temple, later left temple.
Waterfall
Pressure in forehead extending to root of nose.
Stitch in my heart.
Prover 6Spiral.
Purple and black go down hole.
Standing in a forest, looking up through branches of lots of trees to the white sky beyond.
But the trees are too high, unable to reach beyond the branches.
There are no leaves on the trees.
Kind of trapped, I can only look up at the branches.
The only way out is up.
Prover 7
A yellow color waving from right to left in circles, deepening to gold like a field of wheat. Later the color changing to a dark navy color, circulating again from left to right, with a purple centre, closing in and disappearing.
Breathing shallow.
Sleepy and tired, I want to follow the color into the centre and go with it.
Itching ankles.
Slight pressure in forehead, between and above eyes.
Pulsating in right ear.
Feeling as if eyes are turned inward to nose.
Head empty.
Fully here.
Prover 8Chest opens, the heart area.
Inspiration restricted.
Slight palpitation.
Pain in chest area, trachea.
Constricting feeling in throat, tickling.
I can take in air more freely through my nose.
Looking through a green veil, which opens revealing a landscape, start of a journey, going deep into something light and colorful, black birds are in the trees and flying.
Frequently feeling a silent, inner depth, but peaceful.
I’m aware of the birds chirping outside, quite intense but happy.
Prover 9Brief stitch above left eye.
Pressure on left and right temple, inward.
Stitch in medial side of right eyebrow, like a needle.
Image of a dark green army tank.
Image of a ball composed of about 8 smaller balls.
Prover 10Feeling of being big, round chest, with confidence.
But this confidence is brittle because it’s easily disturbed by diversion, disturbance and noise.
Prover 11Heavy pressure in abdomen, intestines.
Body feels relaxed.
Feel my heart in my whole body.
Aware of my neck, it’s long, my light head is balancing peacefully on it, and it’s a free and flexible feeling.
Very much in the here and now.
Image of a bird with a long neck, flying.
Prover 12Stitching pain in left heel and ankle. Pain in left shoulder.
Peaceful, rest.
Prover 13At ease.
Blank, empty in head, numb.
Tension in the right back, the spinal nerves up to the buttocks.
Prover 14Sudden.
Endless desert, wind blows over endless sand hills.
Disturbance in concentration.
Pain in right hip, left lumbar region.
Light at the end of a tunnel.
Feeling that the remedy didn't reveal itself, everything remained blank.
Endless repetition of the same structures.
Symbolic bird between goose and cock, long neck.
Prover 15Care, but also distant and cold.
Moon, dawn.
“Together we stand, divided we fall” [from The Wall, Pink Floyd].
Handing over a letter in a closed envelope.
Image of Da Vinci’s "Hand of God to Adam".
Dove.
Direct inspiration (experiential).
Marriage of ego and superego, God, spiritual.
Union of man and cosmos (necessary when the union is broken, then it’s cold and distant).
Prover 16Pressing feeling on forehead and in my ears, extending to my upper teeth along cheekbone.
Aware of slight sounds and noises, like from laptops, but they seem less distant.
Pressing feeling on my stomach.
Prover 17Short of breath, as if behind my breath.
Image of a source, water spirals up, bubbling.
Peep in left ear.
I don’t care if I have something to report, it’s OK.
Prover 18Great inner peace.
Harmony.
Acceptance of my body, especially my abdomen.
No noise disturbs me.
Breathing was light and heavy at the same time, but the harmonious rhythm is significant, it gives me vertigo.
I was desperate because I had no idea or image, I wanted to be able to ay something.
But it was only peace and harmony in me, all duties and tasks were unimportant, I had left everything behind me.
Prover 19
A ball, white, green.
Pulsating feeling in chest.
Prover 20Heart beating.
Inner left side of eye was wet.
Felt myself.
Prover 21Meditative.
I need and can accept shelter.
I feel 'German' which is the synonym for enemy [otherwise I never have a feeling of being part of a nation].
I feel warm, grounded and in any way myself. At a good distance from others.
This moment I feel quite close and clear to the language around me.
Why is the dog tapping around? Are we all sheep?
Prover 22Pressure on forehead, with sharp pain in left temple going to left eye. And the upper cheek.
My tooth has a tearing sensation, as if from a knitting needle, sensitive to touch.
Prover 23Chilly, shivers over my back.
Pain forehead.
Pain left shoulder.
Pressure on eyes, as if they are tense.
Fear not doing it well.
Numb, want to close eyes and go to sleep, as if after long weeping.
Leave me in peace.
Nervous in stomach.
Prover 24Blocked respiration.
I forget to breathe.
Prover 25My tongue is imprisoned by my teeth, like a medieval metal cage or fortress-like barrier.
Books of Carlos Castaneda.
Story: a colleague and some others try to persuade me into a pyramid-selling business; they are very aggressive, but I succeed in saying no politely.
My bad toothache is gone, vanished; after the proving it comes back, but not as intensely.
Prover 26The ground is as if broken open, with a deep hole in it.
Something turning around.
Very cold feet and hands.
Prover 27
Image of a cloud, as from an atomic bomb explosion.
Owls, with wise faces.
Lips with red lipstick, pouting.
Lips smoking a cigarette.
Flower in a tube shape.
Whirling water down a drain, like a hurricane.
Mushroom.
Pain in left hip.
Pain in left molars.
All image have some cone-like whirling shape.
Prover 28Green field with small rose flowers.
Left neck and back tense, stitch through my left back, scapula.
Vision of my left eye is disturbed, foggy.
Good feeling in head.
Plug in left ear.
Prover 29Very aware of my eyes.
Trembling of muscles around right eye.
Prover 30Itching of right face.
Empty, nothing came [exceptional].
Irritated by people making a noise. Pain left heel.
Prover 31Pain in left temple.
Pain joints of hands, left little finger, right thumb.
Heavy feeling, sitting heavily.
Pain left upper abdomen, stitching.
Prover 32Insecure
Heaviness.
Prover 33Stars jumping out my hands.
Very relaxed, spaced out.
As if a tree grows from my spine.
Hot flush [normally also, but now more pronounced].
Prover 34Flashes gently going in circles around my head
Light contented feeling, calming.
Small pain over my right eye, in the eyeball, giving an insecure feeling as if I would get a migraine.
Prover 35Heavy, languid shoulders, upper arms and thighs.
Writing is difficult.
Heart pounding.
The dog will think “These people behave weirdly”.
I hear everything around me, without filtering.
Pain in right shoulder and neck.
I see a greenish-yellow color on the white sheet, coming and going in a slow rhythm like the waves of the sea or the light of a lighthouse.
I’m driving on the highway, a grey van suddenly enters the highway and blocks my vision.
I help to put a car on blocks with the feeling “So, that one doesn't have to drive anymore”.
Prover 36Choking, fullness in throat.
Open book.
My feet in the grass, fog around my head.
Wings flapping, but I can’t get out.
Uneasy peace.
A sort of transcendence, but not particularly joyful.
A man standing tall with eyes closed, he looks unhappy [I’m female].
Overall feeling of resigned sorrow and lack of clarity, fogginess.
Felt my system becoming a wreck.
Prover 37Jerking and backward motion of head, like an electric shock.
Image of a colorful bird, with a big horny bill.
Pain in right foot, stitching, as if a nail is beaten into it.
Prover 38I was not really at rest, connected to heaven ??, connected to earth ++.
Thoughts coming and going.
Hearing very sharp, all noises around.
Icy cold feet and hands.
Quivering feeling at the right side of my neck, under my occiput.
Feeling as a whole, from head to feet: calm.
Prover 39A ballet dancer, very lean, standing on the tips of her ballet shoes with arms stretched out in the air. She turns into a long dun wimple waving in the wind in an empty space, with one point fixed to the ground.
Feeling of freedom, it can go to all directions, but the fixed to the ground gives a feeling of safety.
Prover 40Face relaxed, without expression, tense.
Businesslike, without pleasure, cold.
Sharp judgment.
Arteriosclerosis, as if things aren't staying supple by themselves.
Prover 41Chinese plates turning on sticks in the air.
Erotic, erection.
Throwing disks; they are thrown over a barbed-wire fence which gives the impression of a concentration camp.
Peep show
Prover 42Heart more at ease.
I feel and sense in my head [normally my focus is in my heart].
A picture of concentric lines on which my mind activity circled in my head in a very concentrated form. I asked myself if I was biased by the Bohr atomic model, but the circles stayed moving along these circles of mind activity.
Heavy feeling in lower abdomen, as if having eaten too much.
Neck pain, in one point, in the left side.
Prover 43Pressure in left side of head.
Grey blue.
Pressure in left upper cheekbone molars.
Prover 44, after the provingImpressions: spiraling, birds, view, playing.
Dream: Making love in an impossible surrounding, in the street with a lot of people, on the mud, in a natural way, not an orgy; lost shoes, not a couple.
Headache.
Sensation of the thumbnails coming off, so I had to strap them.