Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Secret Lanthanides
Type:
Remedy
Chapter:
13.8
13.8 Holmium muriaticum
Analysis
Retreat when not getting care
Retire from mother
Reduce autonomy to receive care
Mother dominates so they retire
Mother retires from the care of autonomy
Retreat when not getting care
They struggle to combine autonomy and care but don't succeed and have to reduce one of them. They have a need for care but if they don’t get it, they are inclined to withdraw and rely on themselves. It’s better to be alone than to give in.
Retire from mother
Reduce care to save autonomy
They have a desire to be cared for. But more often they will give up a part of their care to keep their autonomy
Reduce autonomy to receive care
In order to get care they have to give up their autonomy. The one who cares for them will only give it when they give in, when they aren't so self-willed. So they can reduce their autonomy and let themselves be dominated. Their need to be cared for is very great but at the same time they have the feeling that if others won’t give it, they will withdraw. They can live with a kind of suspicion towards others, fearing that they will reduce their care they receive. The others for their part will feel this need and also the suspicion, as if they can never give enough and they will withdraw in turn.
Mother dominates so they retreat
They can have a very domineering mother. But they’re very self-willed and won't give in. So they retire into their inner world. In their own world of fantasy they can preserve their own power.
Mother retires from the care of autonomy
It can also be the case that their mother couldn't combine her own life with the care of her children. Their mother reduced her care in order to be able to keep her own life, for example, as a therapist or a spiritual seeker. It can also be that their mother had to half give up her own autonomy in order to be able to give good care to her children. But she did that with resentment, a kind of bitterness, so that her children always felt guilty and only had half contact with her.