Sense proving, 23-9-2021, Zell, Franz Swoboda
Prover 1Franz, Auf der Wacht, alone, 24.9.2021 morning.
I start before everyone is there. "If we finish faster, we can go home faster".
1. Cold feet, immediately, no need for that, in addition they tingle very finely, like direct current. I don't let myself be disturbed by voices, remarks, the presence of others. The feet occupy me. So cold and so finely tingling. I don't want to think away from them. What is there?
Something is disturbing in the middle of the throat, as if there were something that didn't belong there. The right side of the nose is moist inside. I will now connect myself with the mushroom against the onset of illness. Strange idea - to connect with the mushroom against something that is happening inside me? I have to join with something to fight something inside me - ?!
Sulphurous yellow is the material in the bowl, bright sulphurous yellow. It no longer smells unpleasantly old, but as if it could be inhaled for therapeutic purposes.
3. When I have inhaled twice, my throat is dry. In the middle of this dryness in my throat, something now happens. A little "blob". Ow! Hurts. Then a second "blob", OW! Then it happens quickly. Pale yellow something flows out from inside, throwing up the rim of the forming crater with pale yellow clods. More and more flows upwards in swells, the crater is wet, the clods get higher and higher, the rim thickens. Something is working down there, like an alien, horrible, it works incessantly, it is a cold volcano, completely cold, there is no warmth.
Maybe I should have connected with the mushroom after all? More and more this alien digs and deeper and deeper the crater gets, higher and higher the rim bulge. How long can one stand this? My eyes itch, I have to rub them. Feet are badly cold, although the rest of the body is now getting excessively warm.
"The world is digging a hole for me."
What do I do? I don't know how to fight back, I don't know what this alien is digging up inside me, digging me up, digging me around, shaping me from solid to liquid and then from liquid to amorphous.
The idea: I have to go down there, I have to go in there, I have to see what's going on. The crater is not hot. And it can't get any worse. Maybe it can, but it's the only chance I see.
5. I am now all the way to the crater, standing on the rim, in the bulky masses on the crater rim, which is still growing. Without thinking, I apply the light sulphur-yellow mass to my body. Starting from the bottom, I spread and spread the clods, rubbing them on my skin. It's like putting on sun cream. I am very careful, taking my time. I cover my whole body, every spot with this material that comes from me and has been transformed by something unknown inside me. Actually, it is from within me that I now apply on the outside. Finally, I stand there quietly, covered all over with the yellow material. As I pause for a while, I see two little eyes perceive me from the watery crater. I see a little more, it looks like a crab or a spider. I can't be more precise. I remain completely motionless. I can do nothing now but wait.
Hesitantly, slowly and carefully, the crab spider, covered all in yellow like me, begins to crawl out. It has already reached my right foot. It crawls up me, jerkily, again and again it pauses, I can always feel where it is. Is she trying to find a spot that is not covered with the yellow mass? I have done a good job. She climbs up, higher and higher. Now it has reached my neck. Instead of coming further up, I feel her coming forward to my neck. That already feels frightening. But again, I creamed well and she goes back to the nape of my neck to crawl higher from there. Now I feel it on the back of my head, on my bald spot. Did I put cream there too? Sun cream doesn't go there, usually. It stays still for a moment, then I feel it on one end of my hair. From then on, no more.
I stay calm for a long time until I dare to breathe deeper. The crab spider has left me through an opening above me. I see now that I am standing in the crater she has created.
Through the opening above it has crawled out, away, from me. Am I safe? Am I allowed to move yet? What now?
6. I am incapable of any further action, have no idea. Now I become painfully aware that I am alone. Alone I can't get anywhere.
Then I feel people approaching who love me. They begin to wash me, to wash the dried light yellow something off me. From top to bottom, every hair, every eyelash, down to the last crumb they wash away the crust. It takes a long time and I stand there in silence. In general, everything happens in silence. Only inside is singing.
I don't know if I'm alive. I only know it feels good.
I am tired, like after a great long effort, or after a long journey, when one has finally arrived. Where I have arrived, however, I don't know.
DiscussionSkin flake, burning in the abdomen - like eating too spicy had to curl up.
Meditating Buddha.
I put a protective mantle over your outer and inner skins.. like a healing balm.
Old crap you can't digest, ripened you too much from outside and inside.
House with yellow tiles to protect you.
Close the holes in your aura.
Skin defects like after severe burns or resections; Burning skin, skin graft that does not want to heal, inflamed, red, burning.
Help it heal.
Honey-like yellow mass spreads protectively over the defect.
SusanneEverything is about sex, desire, lust - extremely woozy, not clear; like a transsexual picture almost all the time: naked bodies without faces and without genitals (can't see them) - extremely many bodies lie close to close, skin, ecstasy through the touch.
Can't distinguish man and woman, the whole group merges into each other.
(end scene in “Perfume").
A lot of ecstasy.
Pressure behind the sternum, strong tiredness, strong nausea.
Merging with the group.
Then desire tips over into aversion - have manhood loss, loss of libido; don’t feel desirable; irritated because everything with sex.
Head pressure.
Impatient, have driven myself.
Lower abdomen.
Breathe in the scent and immediately fall away; Body must drop.
Must eat the human immediately with skin and hair, the scent takes me in so much.
Strong psoriasis - how can they sleep together, I would be disgusted by the skin.
Good means for good individual demarcation. where do I let no one in and out;
Skin:demarcation also to the universe.
Skin remedy; also extreme neurodermatitis.
DD Vernix caseosaBurning desire, relationship issues.
Having to completely separate oneself (skin disease) - or completely melting in the relationship
Fungus: not pleasant touch but everything is too much; equal to trance, melting.
Quality of the carbon series.
Meeting:fast at first. Then everything slowly.
Markus: Beginning of life and end of life.
The blob, ovulation?
Bees, covered with pollen.
Light thread; incarnation.
Uterus.
Neoprene suit for the birth canal.
(An exorcism that went quite deep with me, moved me quite a bit in the telling. Not knowing if you are alive or not after the hard struggle, that was not easy. There is something brave about it. You do something with an uncertain outcome).
DiscussionHave the courage to put on a knight's armour and go into the deepest problems.
People who are afraid of treatment.
You have to go into your deepest depths; there is your cure; but you have to allow it completely.