Sense proving, 26-10-2019, Haltern am See, All
ProverWhile walking along an avenue of birch and beech trees in the central cemetery of my town, a big mushroom attracted my attention.
This group of big dark brown mushrooms with their big heads seemed pretty uncanny to me, like sorcerers who have assembled there, practising black magic.
The head of this big mushroom is sticky /slimy, it smells neutral, a little unpleasant. There is a slimy discharge, which is disgusting.
Suppressed sexuality manifested in pornographic, sexual associations / thoughts, cannot stop them
The younger mushroom is strong, an erect penis, voyeuristic intentions.
Young male adults in their fancy cars cruising around looking for girls they can impress.
Feels fertile, wants to reproduce, controlled by hormones. Women who desperately want to become pregnant.
The young mushroom exudes vitality, wants to explore the world.
Self confident, feels strong and is assertive: let's get started! Full of the joys of life, celebrate, party, get going and do not think too much about it, life is fun.
The older mushroom stands for decay, power and strength, which were once great, have almost gone. But in spite of that able to look back at a good and active life. Has accepted that one is growing older, you can still sense the former strength.
BodyAbdominal complaint.
Curvature of the penis / a crooked penis.
A large amount of discharge but only a small amount of menstrual blood.
Sharp pain in left knee.
Stiff leg, moving clumsily.
Sensitive bladder / urge to urinate.
Spasmodic stomach ache.
Sleepless.
Prover 5Spongy
Odor hardly describable, after fish (?); the bottom smells more intense.
Everything in the mouth contracts.
Decay.
Human with a black hooded coat; picture from the movie Amadeus => Father is standing in the black cloak on the stairs in front of Mozart's door => is perceived as a threat.
Palpitations.
Stomach pain.
Sickle pierces the hand on which the fungus lies.
There is nothing: no yesterday, no tomorrow, no now.
Larynx paralyzed.
Tongue thick; bitter taste
Tingling in the mouth.
Spiral in the head.
Prover 8The lower body is heavy and the upper body is light. A farmer's son is stuck with his feet in the mud, symbolising being stuck in the traditions of the family. The upper part wants to leave, going to a more cultural life to develop himself.
A general masculine feeling.
The smell of the fungus is absent.
Prover 16Living close to Beeches out oft he ground.
Before I started the proving, I had a discussion about vaccination.
Immediately stitching pain in my eyes and pressure on them
A sweet flowery smell on the top, very earthy at the stem.
It’s hard to get in touch with the mushroom,
it’s like a stage of not being attached or not wanting closeness.
Deep tranquility, calmness, centred.
Deep breathing.
The noises around me don’t bother me.
I stay completely in the presents, now and here.
Grief.
Picture of a bowl, a plate, a mighty calix.
It doesn’t matter what happens around me, very stoic.
War, strong necessity to hide, safety in a bunker, lean down,
grovel into the earth/ground, partisans, hiding, stoic.
Sinuses are hurting ( I have chronic sinusitis).
Prover 18Morning mist, just above the ground, peaceful. It is the split between heaven and earth.
Smell is acute, very sensitive.
A slow bear, humming, walks through the woods and the fields. He is big, fat and powerful. He is peaceful, unless something is obstructing him, then he gets angry. He is rising, standing straight up on his hind legs. Suddenly he fall backwards on his back and cannot rise anymore. He had an apoplexy. and is over stretched. He is paralysed and waits for his end.
This feels like
Stage 8, strong, big and fat, but cannot stand obstructions.
A framer, ploughing and exerting, slaving himself on his fields, till he gets broke by disasters. The big strong man has fallen, unexpected and suddenly.
Strong and fat, like
Phase 5Construction worker. This kind of worker fits
Iron series.
Prover 19Paxillus involutus, Kahler Krempling Group examination Franz Haltern 2019.
Immediately comes the phrase: "open up your heart".
The meaning only becomes apparent after the following story.
Do violence to. "You won," says the mushroom, "you were stronger," as I break off a piece. "Don't feel bad about that. My brothers will come and avenge me. Come on, don't panic, they won't kill you. Protect your teeth and your balls, you'll survive. Never been in a bar fight before?"
"That's so not my world," I reply meekly.
"Don't be so snivelling! You started it, you were the first to use violence. Now you have to deal with the consequences."
"I'm scared," I confess.
"Chicken shit! It's not like you're an enemy!"
"I'm from the city," I explain, "I didn't grow up like you, I'm not used to fighting."
"Can't take a few kicks? What's the big deal about a black eye, a busted lip, a bruise? Never played football, rugby, handball? Men measure themselves against each other. The first blows hurt. After a while, everything goes numb and you can't feel anything."
"Numb?"
"Yes, like drunk as a skunk. You can't feel a thing."
"I'm scared you'll beat me to a pulp."
"You can't take a joke. Go on back to town, you little shit, mama's boy. The fun don't start till there's blood."
"I'm so scared, it's like I've been locked in a dark dank basement where from somewhere, front or back, up or sideways, someone will beat me. Mama... I want to go to my mummy... but I don't dare call out, because otherwise I'll be considered a chicken. And yet I want to be brave, I want to be accepted, accepted as one of their own. I want to be a full member of the group."
"All right," says the mushroom a little more quietly, "I'll tell you something. But don't tell anyone. I'm telling you because I see myself in you, because I felt the same way when I came here. I was just like that. I got over it then, I got in a fight. Got beaten up, rather. They beat me up, I don't remember how I got home. The next day I was accepted. Probably others felt the same way, but nobody talks about it. I think it's called initiation."
(Physically, I feel a cold sensation in my throat when I inhale. Shortly afterwards I am slowed down in my movements, but not in my thinking).
The softened mushroom now feels as if it were good for wounds that others have made.
Paxillus involutus - group proving immediately the sentence: "open up your heart".
which I understand not until the end of the proving.
Violence. "You have won" says the mushroom, "you were stronger", when I broke a bit. "No need to feel guilty. My brothers will take revenge. Don't panic, they won't kill you. Hide your teeth and your balls, you'll survive. Never had a fight in a pub?"
- "That's not my world, not at all," is my bashful answer.
"Stop snivelling, you hit first. Now take the consequences." - "I'm scared."
"Coward! You're not a worthy adversary."- I'm a city boy, I've been raised differently, I'm not used to fight.
"You can't stand some kicks? A black eye, a cut lip, a bruise, what's wrong with that? Never played soccer, rugby or handball? Men fight, that's what they do. Only the first hits hurt, then it gets numb and you don't feel them anymore."
- "Numb?"
"Yes, like completely drunk. You don't feel the pain."
- "I'm scared you beat me to a pulp."
"Can't you take a joke? Go back to your city, mummy's boy. You don't get it. Fun starts when blood starts running."
- I'm so scared as if I was locked up in a dark humid cellar, where someone is going to hit me from above or behind or whatever side. I long for my mama. But I don't dare to call her, I don't want to be a coward. I want to be courageous and become a member of the group. I want to be accepted."
"Alright," the mushroom adds in low tone, "I'll tell you something. Keep it to yourself. I'll tell you, because you remind me of myself when I came here. I was a coward, too. But I got over my fears. Then they beat me up badly. Don't know how I returned home. The next day, I was accepted. It's probably the same with most of us in the group. But no one talks. I think, initiation is a word they use for that."
(Physically, I feel coldness in my throat during inspiration. I am slow, but only in motion, not in thinking. The now soft mushroom feels as if it helps for healing wounds caused by others.
I feel strong palpitations and trembling: anxiety.
I feel strong palpitations and trembling - out of fear.
The "solution level" would be the first sentence: Open up your heart. The feminine is missing here. The solution lies in the first sentence: Open up your heart.
The female part is lacking here completely.
Open up your heart:
There’s no formula for happiness, that’s guaranteed to work it all depends on how you treat your friends
and how much you’ve been hurt
but it’s a start when you open up your heart.