Sense proving, 24-10-219, Haltern, Franz, Helena
Campfire – I want to belong to the group. Although I don’t like the songs they are singing. Although I feel uncomfortable with the heat to my front and the cold in my back, I don’t complain, because I want to belong to the group.
H: it is light, soft, fragile, tender. I don’t want to crush it.
It glues. It seems to vanish – after the first stage, almost nothing remained in the shell. Then it turns out that it sticks to the shell so much that you could rub over it smoothly, but you have to scrape it off really hard.
Shall I take responsibility or not? H: would it make a difference?
Am I doing the right thing?
Getting away from people; a life alone
I have to scrape it off the scraper with my fingers. H: You have to involve yourself.
The group is not the problem. The question is, do I want to involve? Be part of the group? Avoiding conflict?
Responsibility would be for myself, not for someone else.
They don’t dislike me. They see me as different.
Lot of sweetness. H: Airy.
You cannot have the ultimate lightness unless you’re dead.
You can get rid of all your shit and have your intestines absolutely clean – but then you’re dead.
What am I doing? Avoiding? Withdrawing? Being as far as possible; not being in; they are stable, I am not really in. Also detached a bit from my body.
I am half, less maybe. Edge of dying? It makes me feel best when I do things physically, working out with my body. (Young people in Fitness-Centers?)
So much sweetness – no anger, no dark side of human being, again: airy
The fungus hides only through colour.
My wishes are unclear, vague.
So for the time being, I join.
Phosphorus? No, I am not exchanging.Unborn child? Children (getting cancer and ) dying because they chose the wrong family?
When the fungus is cut, the color turns into blue immediately. Looks toxic, but isn’t. Smells fresh, like chlorum, like a swimming pool. Clean.
You have to get involved.Problem? Young women before first pregnancy, being unsure if they should change their life.