Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Qjure
Type:
Picture
Chapter:
1-266.00.04
Cerium sulphuricum
Analysis
Declaring independence frightens lovers
Love will block independence
Husband blocks their independence
Stating their autonomy will block love
They fear that when they will come out their autonomy will be crushed.
Lovers make it difficult for them to declare their autonomy
Declaring independence frightens lovers
They fear that stating their autonomy too openly will frighten lovers, that it will scare people away and they won’t be loved anymore. They fear that people won’t see them as nice and lovable if they are independent. This makes them hesitant and doubtful about going their own way or being their own boss. It makes them not know what to do anymore. They can’t move forwards or backwards and feel locked in. It can produce the sensation that they aren't in contact with the world anymore, as if there is glass between them and the world. They can feel as if they're locked in within their own world. Or they can feel as if they have no contact with their own inner world.
Love will block independence
They have a problem combining love and autonomy: they want to achieve this but feel locked in. They have a fear that love will make it impossible to be independent. They see love as giving and taking and they can’t see how that can be combined with freedom. It makes them hesitant to enter into love relationships. They fear that they can't love enough if they are autonomous.
Husband blocks their independence
They can have a domineering husband who makes it impossible for them to go their own way. Their husband is so strong that they fear to take up their own life. But they see the need to be their own boss. The two forces tear them in opposite directions, so they will go nowhere. They don’t move and feel blocked.
Stating their autonomy will block love
They fear that if they express themselves their autonomy will be crushed.