Author: Jan Scholten
Resentment, grudge Clothing
Anger, hate criticism Beauty, grace, harmony
Closed, reserved Joy
Idealism Love and relationships
Disappointed, gloomy Jealousy
The group analysis gives us the theme of resentment towards the partner.
They feel that their partner doesn’t give them enough love. They see him or her as a cold, reserved and hard person. So they themselves start to behave in a similar way, trying to hide their own vulnerability and need for love.
Another possible situation is that they are resentful because they don’t have a relationship. They feel that they are not receiving any love and when they do finally meet a partner they have such high expectations that it is impossible to fulfil them. So they are disappointed in their ideals and they take this out on their partner. They become irritable and resentful and their partner usually escapes after a very short time. This Am-s behaviour pushes away all potential partners and they end up alone.
Another variation might be that they really do have a partner who is cold and reserved. In this case they have chosen such a partner in order not to have to show their need for love. This often follows the example they had from their parents, who often had the same sort of marriage, with little love and a lot of bitterness and disappointment. They feel that it is impossible to have a loving relationship, so they avoid it altogether by choosing an unloving partner.