Jan Scholten

Terminalia catappa

The situation is that of colonialism, different social classes living separately together. The upper class lives comfortable, having a good life, fully taken care of by the lower class, the working class. The upper class lives nicely, having good food cooked for them, having good clothes, made and washed for them by the servants. The theme of use and abuse is strong.
The superiors can also have sex with the servants which can produce children. But they will be denied their status and treated as bastards. The mixing of the classes should not happen and will be denied.
The opposite can be of servants taking advantage of their superiors by doing only the minimum and having a simple life without responsibilities.
They feel they have done something stupid without really understanding how this came about. For instance they went into the army with the idea of a promising career, but they end up in a dirty war. They have followed a leader who was unclear about what were the prospects. Or they quit with their lover in an impulse because they had to do something important which turned out not to be important at all. They lost their real love, the love of their life. And their girlfriend stays behind in desperation, not understanding what has happened.
There is a conflict between work and love, between finding a job in society and committing to the real one. The job or the love gets lost in this conflict.

Naive destruction.
Childish disruption.
Guilt, < having harmed loved ones, unintentionally.
Asking for help and support, without asking openly, directed to someone.
Charmed by empty promises.
Desire for an easy life, in luxury and comfort, as in paradise.
Desire a colonial life with servants doing all the work for you.
Desire: beauty.
Vanity, laziness.
Hierarchies; living apart in two worlds, a superior and inferior class.
The front side is nice, clean, beautiful, shiny; backyard is smelly, rubbish, dirty, dusty, a dump ground.
Using, abusing each other, carrying others on your back.
Desire: diplomas, to be well known, money, recognition.
Bastards do not count, do not have the right to be there.
Desire clean; aversion dirt and toilets.
Ailments from abuse, caring for others; carrying superiors, patients; energy being sucked; treated like a slave; no respect; having to do shitty things.
Disgust, < abuse, taking care of others’ shit; toilet paper.
Servants cooking, washing, behind the nice, shiny front.
Images: shoe broken, lost; losing her way.
Aversion: talking, no need to talk, there is nothing to talk.
Restless, bored.
Irritated, < intruders, < people asking for things, money.
Guilt, rejected, slaves, mistreating people.
The sorry hearts, excuse.
Helping and helping is abused.
Hidden aggression.
Feeling guilty.
Desire to do something useful, practical, build a house, straight in organising.
Feels limited.
Dreams about expansion.

Sweat: heavy, smelly, stinks.

General: astringent, inflammation; cancer; antioxidant; chromosome breaks.
Energy: fatigue, heaviness, must lie, < strong influenza.
Infection: bacteria; fungi.
Head: headache left side.
Face: pain left side, left eye.
Throat: pain.
Lungs: heavy breathing.
Chest: heavy breasts, must pull them up.
Stomach: pain; cramps; weight.
Abdomen: diarrhoea, dysentery, typhus; liver diseases.
Genital: gonorrhoea, leucorrhoea.
Back: lumbago, < over lifting, carrying to heavy loads.
Limbs: pain, numb, heavy, lame, paralysed, cold, left forearm; arms and hands tired, lame, hurting, overworked; feet pain; heavy buttocks, < sitting, it gives a crack, so heavy.

Scholten J. Nosy Be provings. Utrecht. 2014.