Author: Jan Scholten
They are sensitive to being looked at and quickly feel criticised. This is the stage where they enter into a relationship with another person. They are aware that there are other people around, whereas the people in stage 1 act as if they were alone. In Stage 2 the people feel as if other people are constantly looking at them and saying things about them. Each level, i.e. each series, experiences this feeling of being looked at in a different way. Beryllium looks at himself as if he is not himself, Magnesium feels as if he is not worth having a relationship with, Calcium feels as if he cannot manage his task, Strontium feels as if he cannot create any form of art, and Barium feels as if he should be king but can’t do it. There is also a difference in who they think is looking at them: Beryllium is looking at himself, Magnesium feels observed by his family, Calcium by neighbours and people from his village, who see him as being ‘confused’, Strontium feels the public looking at him and Barium feels the whole world looking at him.
They feel the need to find out the value of things. They compare their own actions to other peoples’ to find out whether their own way of doing things is good or bad. They have to compare themselves to others because they don’t have their own inner frame of reference yet.
There is a danger that the negative side takes over, and that they only see the negative sides in themselves and others. Or they feel judged by others in a negative way and they will take this on as being the truth. They are extremely sensitive to any comments or forms of criticism. Other people only have to look at them or think of them and they will take it as a form of criticism. They easily feel judged, humiliated or hurt.
Unsure Shy Timid
The theme is that of uncertainty. They feel so unsure of themselves that they don’t dare to say or do anything. They are passive in the sense that they are convinced that there is no possibility for active participation. They can only undergo the judgment and reactions of other people. The physical expression of this passive attitude is often a certain weakness, puffiness and flaccidity of the body. Their character shows the same weak and phlegmatic traits. They are modest and like to keep themselves in the background. They appear docile and easy going, even weak and cowardly. They dare not develop their potential, so their talent remains hidden. They have a tendency to apologize all the time.
Finding a space Joining the community
The root of this problem is their belief that they don’t deserve to have their own space. They feel they don’t qualify for their own space until they have done a good deed to deserve it. They have to work hard to find their own place. In relationships it is very important for them to know their own and their partner’s boundaries, the beginning and the end of their own space. They find it difficult to occupy their own space. They quickly feel left out when they can’t make contact with someone else. Or they feel left out because they dare not show themselves to the outside world.
Adapting Giving in
Because they don’t have their own inner frame of reference they are inclined to take on other people’s opinions. They adapt their behaviour to fit in with the general opinions and rules of others. In this sense they give the impression of being very weak minded.
They soon become passive, just letting things all happen around them. They give their power away and don’t even realise that they probably have just as much to offer as anyone else. Other people are more outgoing and pretend that they know it all, whilst they have the feeling that they know nothing and therefore don’t have the right to conveytheir opinions.
Protecting Covering up
They have the tendency to protect themselves and not to show who they are. That way they won’t get criticised. This reaction reminds us of the oyster who hides in his shell as soon as there is a hint of danger. They need protection and their defence is passive: they hide behind a shield.
In our practice we can recognise this defensive reaction in the body language, the types of gestures or the general behaviour of a patient. We see the child hiding behind its mother or behind a chair, the Bariums show this quite clearly, or they turn their head away from you and snuggle up to their mother. Later on these gestures become a bit more subtle, such as holding on to mother’s hand, keeping a hand before their mouth, or crossing their arms in front of their chest.
Apart from their need for security we also see that these people have a great desire for support: either receiving or giving support. Calcium is the main component of bones, the most supportive structure in our body. The need for support may turn into a gradually increasing rigidity. They build these structures to give them support in life, but if the structures become too rigid it can cause a stagnation in their development. The hardening of the shield prevents any further development, as in the case of the tortoise who has not changed for millions of years.
This is the stage where the number two comes in: they have become conscious of a duality. It is no longer a case of one person doing something, we now have a second person who is observing what the first one is doing.
DD Stage 1: there is no reflection in stage one and they don’t feel people looking at them yet.
DD Being looked at: The stages that follow can also have a feeling of being watched, but there it is no longer the main part of the whole problem. In those stages the predominant feeling becomes more focused on what they could or should be doing to get things right.
Stage 2 has a passive attitude that makes them feel that people are always looking at them and it doesn’t even occur to them that they could be doing something about it themselves.
DD Doubt, passive, coward: Stage 3, 4 and 5 may also have a tendency to cowardice, without the courage to persevere.
DD Stage 6 and hiding: Both stages have the theme of hiding. But there is no real action in Stage 2, they are simply reluctant to show themselves. In Stage 6 there is
definitely a lot of action, but they don’t want to show what they are doing in case they fail.
Calcium and Strontium are elements that can turn into bone and chalk, hence the word calcifying which implies hardening.
Physical: > lying on abdomen.