Author: Jan Scholten
They want to belong to a family and a village, but they feel unsure. They have the idea that their position and recognition is not without discussion and that they have to do much in order to gain their rights in a situation. One strategy is to adapt to the norms and rules of the family and village but that often gives rise to problems because they are not clearly set out, not spoken about. They assume the wrong rules and thus make mistakes. A second strategy is to fight for their position by working very hard, doing their utmost. Often others take that for granted, just receive what they have done and do not give much back. This can arouse a lot of aggression in them. Then they have the problem how to handle it, express it, fight it out or give up and become apathetic and depressed.
It can also be that they are too passive, let things go and then they go wrong. This can stir up feelings of guilt and fear that they will be blamed for it.
They are in a position where they are not sure, where they do not have a real control over what happens, the relationships and the rules. This gives them a feeling of being handed over, turned over, extradited. They feel powerless and helpless, at the mercy of the powerful people. They feel that there must be something wrong with them that they are not taken care of and just given away.
Work, money, business
They feel they have to work hard to earn their position, but on the other hand they do not want to do more than others, they just want to do their share. They have a tendency to give too much but that feels wrong since the balance between giving and receiving is lost. It is like siblings who have to do their share in the household and quarrel a lot about it.
They work hard for their family. They want the family to be in harmony, where everyone feels happy and can flourish, but often it is a family where the parents quarrel a lot, about the tasks in the household, about the money earned. In the background there is often a lack of love and sexual gratification.
Adoption, orphans; handicapped; handicapped siblings or parents.
Desire to dress beautifully, to be attractive and loveable.
Feeling of shame and guilt for what they have done wrong or not have done.
Anger, rage, fury, held in or expressed, < too many demands, being rejected, humiliated, degraded.
Sad, depression, < being rejected, having failed, being unloved, humiliated, degraded.
Apathy, indifference from having the feeling that one’s goals cannot be reached.
Delusion being blamed, rejected, accused, abused, humiliated.
Persistence, endurance, straining.