Author:
Jan Scholten
Book:
Qjure
Type:
Picture
Chapter:
4-6__.__.__
Falco peregrinus
Essence
The central theme in this remedy is a deep sense of isolation. There is a very strong feeling of being excluded. The patient feels neglected and repudiated by friends, family and society as a whole. Patients may well have been actually deserted by their birth parents. They will usually have experienced severe abuse of a physical, emotional and/or sexual nature. As a result, there is a great deal of anger, which may either be suppressed or expressed. The anger is often directed at family members. There is often a feeling that siblings were more loved, more accepted, considered more important. There is also a very strong aversion to injustice.
The negative feelings are internalised. There is a very negative self-image with feelings of disgust at oneself and at one’s body, a feeling of ugliness. There is a very deep sense of shame, humiliation and resentment.
These feelings can lead to a deep sense of hopelessness and apathy. The patient may become discontented, discouraged, indifferent and lazy. There is indifference to household duties, to work, to family members, to everything.
Mind
Freedom versus restriction.
Freedom: Brightness, Clear-sightedness.
Sense of freedom, floating, flying a balloon on piece of string, the slightest gust would take me off. Sense of spiralling, gyring, waves. Sense of speed. Love of nature; everything seems more vibrant, natural; Colours seems brighter; attracted to red. Love of running and climbing on rugged rock faces.
Carefree. Very free-spirited. Exuberance, Laughter.
Giggling, silly, playful, innocence. Identifies with children.
Feeling that I belonged to the group, with people; Camaraderie; really felt part of group.
Because the fight or flight response has been denied them they have great empathy; esp. with endangered environments and disempowered people. Empathy with people, with nature. Protective vulnerable people.
Confidence, Focussed, Courageous.
Sense of being in charge; powerful. Avoiding quiet people to be with buzzy, fiery people.
Del. she is invisible. The compassion and care of others is overwhelming; Weeping with sympathy for others.
Sense of claustrophobic, trapped. Apprehension, Palpitations.
Swearing and not apologising. Squandering money; shopping.
Careless. Extremely clumsy.
Cold, haughty, hard-hearted. Facial expression cold. Indignation.
„The Ice Queen“, Mentally analytical. Telling the plain truth. Disinterest; sex and sensuality.
Violent, explosive anger. Biting and clawing. Reckless driving, No sense of danger.
Restriction: Training a falcon, involves starvation, being tied by the ankles and kept prisoner in a dark place - the perverted bond of persecutor and victim; a „no escape“ situation, until once trained, it is allowed flight, yet returns when summoned by conditioned reflex to sound of whistle and sight of lure.
Dominated and controlled. Can’t stand up for themselves. Del. controlled by an alien. Very fearful, Sense of hemmed in. Sense of oppression of heart. Sense heart ceased to beat.
Psychological, emotional, physical and sexual abuse and cruelty; by her parents or partner.
Humiliation, Self-loathing. Abhorrence of her own body. Sense of being dirty; untouchable, cheap. Fear of infection and of infecting others. Others find me disgusting. Vision of people living in squalor. Sens. cheap, impoverished. Neglects personal appearance.
Strong sense of guilt „I let this happen“. Feeling of being scorned, undervalued. Isolation and despair. Apathy. Resignation.
Difficultly concentrating. Absentminded; not able to hold a thought, losing the thread in conversations, memory feels totally non-existent, can’t remember things from second to second, forget to turn off stove, what day of the week it is, etc. Confusion while driving; difficulty getting off roundabouts (traffic circles) /perhaps emblematic of the falcon’s ascending spiral flight prior to its swoop upon its prey/. Aggravated by riding in a car; spaced out with anxiety.
Always felt outside the group, unacceptable, even when looking part of the group.
Small and vulnerable. Weeping.
Menaced by fear, wanting to escape, yet bound by obligation.
Disempowerment. Feeling of fear, deprivation; leading to unfeeling numbness.
Unfeeling. Coldness of unfeeling anger, especially towards their children, and indeed anything perceived as posing a restraint.
A sense of being above it all; detached. Being in the present, yet being simultaneously detached from it or not connected to it. The detachment becomes so intense that it begins with numbness in my legs. Del. separated; legs severed from his body. Sense of pulsation; lower limbs. Numbness; distal regions.
On getting into a car delusion that the world was going to disintegrate in front of her. Visual illusions.
Irritable, < hunger.
Dreams: strong dream: I gave birth to a daughter, there was no one there to help or support me. She was small and lifeless. She would not feed well. I could not cut the cord and it was long and trailing, no placenta. I had no clothes for her. I asked someone to call the hospital so that someone could not cut the cord as I was scared of causing infection, but I was told it was not worth it. Feeling of both myself and the child being pretty worthless.
Dream: eating corpses.
Dream: of a river with shit and dead bodies in it.
Colour preference: 15-16D.
General
Weather: cold; > lying in bed, < on waking; desire warmth; > wet weather; > open air, in mountains, seaside.
Time: < noon.
Desire: beer, alcohol, sugar, chocolate, meat, to smoke; ravenous hunger, voracious, < noon, < at the taste of food, alternating aversion to food; thirsty, for lots of water. Taking small sips even when thirsty.
Aversion: cucumbers, tomatoes, fat, coffee, slimy foods; lack of appetite; thirstless.
Food: > after eating,; > alcohol, beer; < tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber; >< eating.
Sleep: restless; sleeping late, reluctant to get up; groggy on waking as if drugged; refreshing, waking chipper and playful; very tired, exhausted, < 2 pm; short sleep or dozing in the afternoon; yawning; waking in terror with a jolt; confusion between sleeping and waking states; sleeping on front.
Physical: < in a car, > outdoors, > in the wild, in the wilderness, by the sea.
Body
Ailments, nausea, from thunderstorm, ligthning, > approach of a thunderstorm. Obesity. Symptoms are worse in an enclosed place, particularly a car. Symptoms come in waves. Throbbing. Dryness.
Head: headache, pulsating, congested, throbbing, dull, frontal, left, from temple to temple like a band across the forehead. Headache over right eye in the morning. Headache coming down over the face and pressing inwards. Aching of head and face Cold tingling sensation in scalp. Feeling that the top of the head is open. Sensation of something cold coming out of the head. Hair stands up. Dryness on the top of the head. Hair very dry.
Eyes: Stabbing pain in left eye. Heaviness. Sensitivity, photophobia. Twitching of eyelids. Pupils almost completely dilated. Far away look in her eyes. Eyes feel shiny. Everything seems brighter, as if someone had turned up the light or cleaned the windows. Vision sharper, outlines more definite. Vision brighter and clearer, on opening eyes. Things she is looking at seem to come closer. Difficult to judge distance things seem to be too close. Haziness, cloudiness of vision alternating with clarity. Vision distorted, unable to focus and images keep moving. Images retained too long. Eyes caught by bright colours. Flashes of light on closing eyes. Sees zig zags. Flashes of neon colour in a circle around her.
Ears: Sensation of pressure. Feel clogged, as if full of water. Hearing acute, more aware of sounds. Humming and buzzing noises in the ear.
Nose: Irritation in nasal sinuses. Itching. Heat. Hay fever. Sneezing. Congestion. Left side blocked. Sticky or watery discharge. Nose crusty, mucus bloody. Mucus black and sooty. Sensitive to smells. Strong smells linger and nauseate. Smell of meat disgusts.
Face: Ache. Flushes of heat. Rash that looks like welts. Hard and painful spots. Eye sockets gritty and sore. Acne. Tightness of jaw.
Mouth: Tongue feels swollen and numb. Mouth ulcers, painful, > cold, > clean mouth. Irritating ulcers under the tongue. Painful ulcers affect speech. Dryness. Waking from dryness of mouth. Sudden profuse salivation. Mouth feels soft and relaxed. Teeth: Aching.
Throat: Sore throat. Soreness reaching back up into nose. Throat swollen. Back of the throat feels spongy and swollen. Swallowing difficult. Pain on swallowing, < left. Glands swollen and tender to touch. Dryness. Sensation in throat that she was going to be sick. Thick phlegm that can’t be swallowed. Sensation in the back of the throat of a slimy creature extending up from the stomach, momentarily > swallowing.
Lungs: Sharp stabbing pain in right lung. Breathing laboured. Shortness of breath. Tickling, dry cough. Difficult to speak. Able to reach a higher register of voice.
Heart: Heart feels heavy. Palpitations. Thumping and jumping of heart. Heart stops and starts with a loud thump. Cold sensation around the heart.
Chest: Sharp pain in sides of chest. Stabbing pains in breasts, travelling from centre to nipple. Bruised sensation to left of sternum. Left breast more tender than right. Tenderness of nipples. Uneasiness behind sternum. Tingling sensation in breasts around nipples. Spots on nipples. Itching in axillae. Chest feels weak and hollow. Fluttering and twitching in sides of chest. Sensation of a contained explosion in the upper torso.
Stomach: empty, < hunger. Unbearable pain, twisted in knots. Colicky pains. Cramping pains. Indigestion after eating. Loud belching. Nausea. Nausea with vertigo, with trembling and shakiness. Nausea at the thought of food. Nausea after eating Nausea > eating. Nausea at 5 pm. Nausea from a tube ride. Awareness of stomach. Stomach feels enlarged. Sensation of butterflies. Fluttering sensation in stomach.
Abdomen: Abdominal colic while swimming. Cutting pains. Bloating and flatulence. Distension on waking. Swelling and belching after eating. Sensation of something alive in the abdomen. Cold sensation. Fluttering in right side. Odd feeling in diaphragm as if someone were sitting on it. Heaviness as if a band were around the abdomen.
Rectum: constipation alternating with diarrhoea; Dry, hard, knotty, nodular, like balls, lumpy, Frequent, large, soft. thin, liquid, dark, explosive, forcible, sudden, gushing.
Urinary: Urine darker. Producing less urine. Male Sexual Organs: Libido very flat. Orgasm difficult and weak. Gentle sex with diffuse orgasm. Ejaculation incomplete.
Female: Sharp, stabbing pain around left ovary. Soreness around vulva and anus. Vagina sore. Burning pain in vagina. Burning of labia, < touch, < urination. Itching of vulva and anus. Intense itching at entrance to vagina. Sense of a mole on labia. Womb feels tender. Womb feels enlarged and pressing on rectum. Awareness of pelvic area. Thrush. Discharge. White discharge. Smelly, yellow discharge. Fishy smelling discharge. Constant discharge. Streaks of blood in discharge. Menses heavy. Breasts enlarged during menses. Absence of sexual desire. Libido increased. Intense orgasm.
Back: Neck stiff and sore, extending into shoulders. Neck painful and stiff on waking. Stiff and painful neck, hard to move head. Tension and pain in neck wakes him every time he moves. Pain under the shoulder blades. Upper body feels tense and heavy. Tension in neck. Shoulders dropping forward, as if burdened. Back itching.
Limbs in general: Aching in the bones. Psoriasis on elbows and knees. Cold hands and feet.
Upper Limbs: Aching pain in shoulders. Pain in left elbow. Cramping pains in left arm. Eczema on the hands. Numbness with pins and needles in hands. Trembling. Arms feel heavy. Hands are clammy. Perspiration on palms and back of hands. Hands cold and sweaty. Increased awareness of hands with no awareness of arms. Hands feel large and throbbing. Hands feel as if they are getting bigger and smaller. Biting fingernails. Fingernails stronger and grow faster. Coldness of fingernails.
Lower Limbs: cramping pains in calves. Aching from buttocks to feet. Weakness of ankles. Numbness and tingling from the knees down. Trembling, < talking about emotional issues. Coldness of legs and feet. Legs feel heavy. Skin on the soles of the feet very dry. Sensation of a chain around the ankle. Feet restless and tapping. Sensation that legs are doing their own thing. Legs feel as if they are detached from the body. Legs seem to be larger or smaller.
Skin: Eczema. Dryness. Skin dry and flaky. Skin dry but gets waterlogged at least contact with water. Gooseflesh. Dermatitis.