Subphase 3 has a position in the group that is more secure and better worked out than in Phase 2. But that place is not fully in balance. They feel unsure about their position, often not knowing what to do and how to handle it. They often don’t know if they have to do what the group wants or what they want themselves. Being part of the group causes a confusion over where the group starts and where they end. The boundary between them and the group is not settled yet. When they follow their own will they can often feel guilty and ashamed, especially when they think their motives are in conflict with those of the group. On the other hand, they often do what the group expects from them. But then they can feel that they overrule their own wishes. It can happen that they are confused about what the group is really expecting from them. The general theme is that of confusion, an often unclear state where things get mixed up.
They often have a kind of foggy feeling. Things are not clear, mixed up. They often express things with a lot of hesitation, ambivalence and relativity, not straightforward. Physically this is often expressed as a kind of vertigo. It can be seen in car sickness, seasickness, vertigo and nausea in roundabouts or roller coasters.
They have a soft quality around them. They’re not very often aggressive. They are more the pleasing type. By pleasing others, they hope to get a definite position in the group. Very often they lose themselves. It can be as if they don’t have their own form as they adapt too easily.
They often have the feeling that it is their fault when something goes wrong in the group.
They can have the feeling that they are half in something. They are half in the group and half in themselves. They feel part of the group but have to give part of themselves away for that. They are stepping into something but are not standing yet. They are in motion and unstable. They are not grounded yet.
They feel they don’t have a place, they don’t know where they stand, where they belong. They feel as if having no ground under their feet.
Guilt, feeling guilty about what happens, taking on the guilt and blame.
Adapting, pleasing, giving themselves half away.
Physical: > bandage; > massage.
Vertigo, feeling no ground under their feet; carsick, seasick; < roundabouts, roller coaster.